View Full Version : Feeling special
This is a question, probably a stupid one, that relates to my own feelings. Although I have felt drawn to polyamory for most of my life, I find that I like to feel as though there is something that I share with individual partners that I do not share with anyone else, and vice versa, that there are a small set of things that a partner shares with me, but not with anyone else. The potential set of so-called 'special' things ranges from a special look or touch, to a regular walk together, to things like a habit of sharing food in a particular way. Is it consistent with polyamory to have that kind of feeling? Do you real polyamorists have it too?
09-15-2009, 01:39 PM
In a sense, each relationship is unique and special. Like when I was in a triad, we would have separate dates because each pair of us had different interests. We would respond to each other differently. So in a sense, I felt the relationship itself was unique enough, which led to different behaviors and mannerisms.
Where it got odd was when one person learned from another and brought it into a relationship. Like I remember once saying, "You never kissed like that before." I knew she must have got that from her girlfriend. But I saw it adding to the relationship because she found out something new she liked.
09-15-2009, 01:48 PM
This just reminded me of something my husband said to me the other day. I mentioned how if one of us had a GF, that I wouldn't want to start out as or even ever expect that it would become a triad, and he said, "I don't think that would happen, since we're not attracted to the same to the same type of woman anyway."
The next day I asked him, what was THAT supposed to mean? He kind of blushed and said could we have this conversation when he wasn't quite so drunk.
I thought it was cute and funny.