Poly Dating Site?

[Keith]

How many of you would be interested in a free poly-oriented dating site?

I searched around some for poly dating sites but the few I found were either very poor in quality, or charged a fee.

I'm a web developer and I was thinking about making a decent free poly dating site. Would anyone be interested?

[AutumnalTone]

Sure. I'd like it to be a poly-friendly dating site, though--meaning it tries to attract those who are curious about poly, open to poly, or actively poly. That may seem to be an implicit assumption with a poly dating site; the difference is that a poly-friendly site actively reaches out to the mono masses to find those who might be poly instead of simply reaching out to the poly community to find members.

[Keith]

Absolutely. While I was running (brief) ideas through my head, I was thinking there would definitely be options to select monogamy as your status as well as what you were seeking.

I'm also always open to ideas and suggestions. If I decide to put the work into it, I would want it to be a smashing success.

I have experience in developing enterprise (Fortune 500) level web applications but I must admit I'm not much of a designer or graphic artist. I flourish when I'm working more on the back end rather than the front end. If anyone knows any designers who may be interested in going in on this with me, let me know.

[Keith]

Lol and unfortunately polyamory.net has been taken by a squatter, who is undoubtedly asking for an insane fee for the domain; so domain name suggestions would be welcome as well.

[AutumnalTone]

Heck, I'd just call it Many Loves--so see if manyloves.com (or .net) is available.

I think that name works for both the poly connotation and for the idea that many people are seeking/finding love, whether mono or poly.

[AutumnalTone]

Well, I have ideas on how the profiles should work. Once common complaint among poly couples is that personals sites don't allow for profiles for couples--it's individual profiles only. I'm thinking there has to be a way to alleviate that without then locking couples into couples-only profiles.

See, my wife and I are not a package deal. If some woman wants to get involved with me, she doesn't have to also get involved with my wife (who is bi). Likewise, any woman getting involved with her doesn't have to get involved with me. As I'm straight, any men getting involved with her also aren't getting involved with me. To stick us with only a couples profile wouldn't be a good solution.

So I'm thinking having individual profiles available, couples profiles available, and the ability to strongly link individual profiles of couples/groups that identify as a unit would work to serve all the contingencies.

Hit me up in private if you're wanting more ideas tossed your way.

[GlassDaemon]

I'd love to see this, while I've never experienced a poly relationship and am pretty innocent to it, hell don't even know if I could be polyamory, I am extremely curious. Would love the chance to talk to more polyamory people in a more intimate setting such as this.

[AutumnalTone]

Heck, you're welcome to talk to us on the boards here, though there aren't many of us here as yet. If you want, you can even send messages direct to other members on here, so if you've got a burning question (or list of questions), feel free to send it.

I check in as regularly as I can around work (I'm usually on the road the first part of each week) and reply to all personal messages as promptly as I can. Board posts may have to wait a bit longer (as with this past week).

[ferrishmatt]

Hey there. If you're still interested in putting one together perhaps we can work together on this. I have a dating script about 85% complete that I spent a great deal of time modifying to work with having multiple "profiles" per account and not limited to one or two people. You can easily select if you are a single, couple, group, what you are looking for and what criteria etc. I ended up shelving it when I got swamped with other work!

Perhaps we can work on this together and get something decent for our community up!

Email me (or skype) at matt [at] ferrishyn.com and we can talk more details.

[River]

Maybe -- somehow -- your poly dating site could be integrated with this site, polyamory.com? It's a good URL! ... anyway, it's worth checking with Olivier about. Maybe Olivier already has other plans along similar lines?

I'd hold off on the URL name a bit. I can't say I like "many loves" because it could imply scattered diffuseness to some, with the word "many". Doesn't the word cell "poly" mean "multiple" rather than many? Multiple isn't a pretty word, though, but at least two or three are multiples --, and, honestly, who among us has time enough to be a lover to "many"? I surely do not. Three is my way upper limit. Two is probably my perfect fit.

I like the idea of providing as many choices as is practicable and reasonable in posting to a "dating" site. In fact, why make it a "dating" site? "Dating" implies so much! What if what I want to do is to find other polyfolk for friendship? Shouldn't this new site help facilitate that?

I was about to sign up at LovingMore and found their list of _______ seeking
________ problematically restrictive at the time. http://lovingmorepersonals.com/join.php?cmd=please_login Maybe it has changed since then? In any case, it's worth noting that not everyone is "seeking" while some that are not "seeking" would still enjoy meeting others for friendship (not dating) which they are open to having evolve into a loverly relationship. I'm one of those. I'm not really "seeking", but I'd be delighted if a new love came into my life.

Not everyone, seeking or otherwise, is into "dating", by the way. Some folks like to have friends and companions, activity partners..., etc., and if things start getting "romantic" then that's just how it goes -- even though there was no "dating" happening, per se. I've got nothing against folks "dating", if that's what they want. But not all folks open to or interested in meeting others who share points of compatibility (e.g., they are poly) are into dating, per se.

I'm involved in a GBQ mens' activities project which provides opportunities for queer guys to meet in social and recreational activity groups, for example. We plan on hiking trips, camping and backpacking, etc., and have a regular Saturday potluck picnic in the park. This isn't "dating", but it is surely attended by people who are open to meeting potential lovers or friends.

[ferrishmatt]

I'd be more than happy to offer this script to this site and get something setup. The term "dating site" may be misleading -- it can be used to match people up for not just dating, but friendship, business to business, etc. It's something I've been wanting to do and have a free, fully functional site that was a genuine benefit to the poly community.

[Funk2Lopez]

I for one would love to join your site when you do finally get it set up. So far it sounds great. :D

[WaywardDruid]

Hello Keith and everyone else that has commented in the Thread.

To begin with I've been on many Poly - Dating Sites:

PolyMatchMaker (http://www.polymatchmaker.com/pmm3/main.mv)

PolyFriendsNetwork(Finder) (http://www.polyfriendfinder.com/community/)

Loving More (http://www.lovemore.com/) - was Moderator of forums at LM under handle of Lazaruslong until they went with new Beta site and now I can't even log into the Chat features or Forums :mad:

Pearz - which is no more.

And also have a profile at Ok Cupid (http://www.okcupid.com/home)

With all that experience you'd think I'd have better advise to give but alas all I can say is Good Luck.

Just Me,
Tim

[nikkiana]

I've often toyed around with the thought of building something as well, Keith... The web developer in me cringes horribly when I try to visit a lot of the poly-themed dating sites, but alas... paying projects have taken over my life.

On a the technical side of things, were you considering building something totally ground up? What language?

[Laz]

Fantastic idea, and I'd be there with a profile in a heartbeat.

[Reymus]

Hi all.

I just thought I'd throw out that I spent the last month creating a poly dating site, as my girlfriend and I had been having serious troubles meeting new people to join our relationship.

So, I created LoveMany.com (http://www.lovemany.com), and it is a free, ad supported dating site. It supports couples and groups, and doesn't lock you into those groups. In fact, the way I set it up is that you set up individual user accounts, and then link them together as a couple or group account, which allows your individual accounts the freedom they need, and the ability to add and remove group members as your relationship dynamic changes.

The site is pretty much brand new, and has very few members, but I'd be happy to see new members join. And of course, as it is brand new, if you find anything you don't like, or anything you think should be done a different way, I'm very much open to suggestion.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

Regards
Chris

[vampiresscammy]

Chris,

Thanks for the new site. Signed up :)

[AutumnalTone]

Just looked at it and it looks good.

The terms of use, however, chased me away. Your terms of service state that each user grants all copyright of their posted text and photos to you. The terms continue to say that all members also free use of anything posted in any fora they please.

That means the site owner and any other member could take my pix and use them wherever they please, for whatever they please, and I have nothing to say about it. It means they can take anything I post in my profile and also use it in any fashion.

Um...no. Not gonna use any site under such terms. I can't recommend that anybody else do so, either. Facebook just caught major heat for that sort of grab for rights and had to pare back what it wanted; I'm surprised any site tries to use such terms after that.

[vampiresscammy]

hmmm, hoping as its a new site, thats somehting that will get changed?!?! just kinda glazed over the TOU as usual since most of them are the same standard blah blah blah, glad I didnt put up any pics yet, grrr, got soooooo excited over the uber poly kindness.

will keep peeking and see if it changes at all

[Keith]

Sorry I haven't replied in so long. I've recently had a bunch of medical issues which has made it hard for me to spend much time online. That should change soon.

Chris, your site is looking pretty good. I'm a PHP/MySQL developer. I also know some Ruby. I'm not completely sure I want to start a completely new site if you already have one that serves the needs of the community. I'm looking for unity in the community, not competition.

I would like to offer my service as a developer if you're interested.

[AutumnalTone]

I'd say keep working on yours, Keith. As I pointed out elsewhere, the terms of use for Chris' site are reprehensible and I certainly can't use it, nor recommend it.

And I just decided to take up PHP and am eyeballing some content management systems to use for building social sites. If need be, I'll start building a site with reasonable terms of use. Unity is no reason to embrace unreasonable terms of use.

[Keith]

I may keep working on it. I haven't started yet, but starting in a few weeks I may have allot of free time on my hands.

I already own freepolydating.com. I think its a decent name.

I'd be interested in finding a designer to work with me. I'm more of a developer than a designer. In fact, designing is very tedious work for me. I'd rather just work on the back end.

[AutumnalTone]

I'm just now dipping my toe into Drupal to develop a web site for a drum corps I help run. You use a CMS or code everything yourself?

[Keith]

I've never been a big fan of CMS applications; especially for this type of site. Everything will be done by scratch.

[ilivefree]

good idea, can't wait to see what you end up with!

[markie]

I built a free poly dating site and it does not get much traffic, maybe you guys could tell me why or is it just the the subject is very specialist?

[redpepper]

I built a free poly dating site and it does not get much traffic, maybe you guys could tell me why or is it just the the subject is very specialist?

Geez, I dunno... most people I know are on OKcupid. Perhaps more link advertising?

I will pass it on though.

[redpepper]

just linked your site to my local poly group.

[AutumnalTone]

I built a free poly dating site and it does not get much traffic, maybe you guys could tell me why or is it just the the subject is very specialist?

Well, from poking around on the site, a more accurate description would be to say that it is poly-friendly--it does not appear to be a dedicated poly dating site. It does appear to be free. Because it is poly-friendly and free, I'll forgive you for showing up here just to pimp your site.

I have to say the search function is sub-par. The choices on age range to search for are few and oddly spaced--with a top age of 47! If the rest of the features are as poor, I don't imagine many people will hang around much.

[AutumnalTone]

On a the technical side of things, were you considering building something totally ground up? What language?

I've been eyeballing using Drupal to build a site. I've got it set up on my machine here to learn how to use it and just haven't decided on a project to begin. A poly dating site is mighty attractive. Picked up some books on PHP and MySQL and need to start doing something before I forget it all.

[markie]

just linked your site to my local poly group.

Thanks for linking redpepper

I will have a look at the search options on the site, maybe your right and there could be more options, we started out to try and keep it simple, will have a look later :)

[redpepper]

Well, from poking around on the site, a more accurate description would be to say that it is poly-friendly--it does not appear to be a dedicated poly dating site. It does appear to be free. Because it is poly-friendly and free, I'll forgive you for showing up here just to pimp your site.

I have to say the search function is sub-par. The choices on age range to search for are few and oddly spaced--with a top age of 47! If the rest of the features are as poor, I don't imagine many people will hang around much.

I would have to agree with the poly-friendly bit, it does seem to be more about singles and couples but not specific to poly.

[markie]

Thank you all for your constructive criticism, I need it and welcome it, I have changed a few things on the search function and added poly to the options (didn't realise it wasn't there) please could you tell me if you think its better

Thank you x

[hustler]

I am new to polyamory and would like to know where are the best places to meet like minded people? I am not to thrilled with dating websites because you can wait forever before getting a response. I should note that I joined a meetup group but they like to party in Long Island and I don't want to limit myself to just monthly meetings.

[jackrabbit]

I'm looking into starting up a dating site, but it will have a different orientation from the standard poly sites. It will be based on the philosophy of the Dispersed Polyamorous Group concept, which I described in another thread. After talking to the people here, I have found that this philosophy is different from poly as currently practiced. So it may be slow going trying to get it started. But if I find some free PHP software for dating, at least it won't cost me anything.

[TL4everu2]

So we still haven't found a "poly dating website"? Maybe I'll have to team up with a friend.

[Ariakas]

So we still haven't found a "poly dating website"? Maybe I'll have to team up with a friend.

You don't like polymatchmaker.com? :)

[TL4everu2]

No, we (my wife and I) don't. It is more for individuals who are poly, but not for COUPLES who are poly. At least thats the way I intrepreted it.

It is also TOO all inclusive. If you're poly, great...If your just curious, great....If you're not poly, but looking for a date, great. Too all inclusive. There are other issues I have with it, but those are enough for me to keep looking around.

My wife and I are the type that when we can't find what we want, we'll create it. ;)

[SchrodingersCat]

No, we (my wife and I) don't. It is more for individuals who are poly, but not for COUPLES who are poly. At least thats the way I intrepreted it.

So by this you mean, it's more for individuals seeking other relationships, rather than couple seeking to add a third and create a triad?

It is also TOO all inclusive. If you're poly, great...If your just curious, great....If you're not poly, but looking for a date, great. Too all inclusive. There are other issues I have with it, but those are enough for me to keep looking around.

Is the problem with this, that they're all "lumped together" with no way to sort out those people

The problem with creating something too specific is that you're already marketing to a tiny subset of the population which is already aware of other options. Without a huge budget for marketing, you're "just another poly dating site" bound to get lost in the noise.

There seem to be a lot of couples looking for singles, but I don't think there are very many singles looking for couples. You'll end up being like all the millions of men on regular dating sites competing for the same tiny pool of women.

[SchrodingersCat]

No, we (my wife and I) don't. It is more for individuals who are poly, but not for COUPLES who are poly. At least thats the way I intrepreted it.

So now that I've actually checked out that site, I don't know what you're talking about... you can easily make a profile as a couple. And there are "looking for" options where people can put that they're looking for a couple, so couldn't you search for people who are looking for a couple?

[TL4everu2]

My wife and I HAVE a profile on there. Actually, it is a profile which simply says it is for a woman looking for a man. Why? Because there was no option to check stating that WE were a couple.

[TL4everu2]

So by this you mean, it's more for individuals seeking other relationships, rather than couple seeking to add a third and create a triad? Yes and no.....The site seems more geared toward individuals looking for other individuals.....Not a site designed for couples looking for other couples.




There seem to be a lot of couples looking for singles, but I don't think there are very many singles looking for couples. You'll end up being like all the millions of men on regular dating sites competing for the same tiny pool of women.We're not looking for a single...We're trying to find a couple.

[phoenix762]

I for one would love to join your site when you do finally get it set up. So far it sounds great. :D

Sounds pretty interesting to me, also. If you do get up, good luck with it:D

[SchrodingersCat]

Yes and no.....The site seems more geared toward individuals looking for other individuals.....Not a site designed for couples looking for other couples.




We're not looking for a single...We're trying to find a couple.

Ahh Ok, I get it now. Boy, good luck with that! LoL, sorry trying not to be too pessimistic. I've had a lot of friends hurt dating couples, it seems exponentially more difficult than dating individuals. The odds of having 4 people on the same page, all interested in each other and compatible.

Kijiji used to have a section in the personals for "couples seeking couples", it was very useful. But they've shut it down "due to popular demand" and now send you to LavaLife, which is purely for singles seeking singles. *sigh*

[rpcrazy]

I do some web design. I'm kind of a novice, and my current work field is network engineering so i'm not really current on all the techniques. I know a bit of as2/3 but i'm no programmer. I'd be willing to assist with code changes and frame/table structure. I'm pretty good at implementing flash as well.

Im me at rpcrazy18 on yahoo
my email is gabe.buchanan@gmail.com

[openmindedcouple]

I've been working on a polyamorous social network. Completely Free, by the way.

Am not trying to spam. I'm a real guy.

My blog is http://www.openmindedcouple.com

and the social site is

http://www.openmindedcouples.com (notice the "s")

One big reason for starting it? Hoping to find some poly-minded friends in the dallas / fort worth area!

[TL4everu2]

Ahh Ok, I get it now. Boy, good luck with that! LoL, sorry trying not to be too pessimistic. I've had a lot of friends hurt dating couples, it seems exponentially more difficult than dating individuals. The odds of having 4 people on the same page, all interested in each other and compatible.

Kijiji used to have a section in the personals for "couples seeking couples", it was very useful. But they've shut it down "due to popular demand" and now send you to LavaLife, which is purely for singles seeking singles. *sigh*I don't view you as being "pessimistic". You are similar to me....a "realist". It's all good.

My wife and I have been dating couples pretty much since we began dating within our marriage. ;) We've had two serious couples. J & J....and S & D. J&J lasted for 2 years, and S&D have lasted three years so far. We're not always all on the same page, but....we work at it pretty hard. It's just like any other relationship....only harder.

And my wife and I know that we're not the only ones who date like this. To have a centrally located site, where everyone can be on the same page, would have been nice back when we first started looking around. Craigslist is only so good ya know. ;)

[BigDuke]

So, what ever happened to this idea for a Poly matching site?

[YourReflection]

here is a good name(still available)
findpolylove.com

[Keith]

Well, it has been a while.. a busy while at that. I decided to make the site a little more than just a dating site. I made one that is more of a community site with dating added in.

At first, I only targeted it to the Atlanta/SE USA area, but I'm now expanding it nation wide. In fact, theres no reason it can't be nation wide right now... its just the domain that can be confusing.

You can check it out at http://www.polyatl.com/

As a community site, it has forums, classifieds, groups, dating, live chat, places to advertise events and meetups, blogs, news, polls, a wide array of privacy and notification settings, and a whole bunch more.

What do you guys think? Feel free to sign up.. it's free. The whole goal behind it was to create a place where someone can go to find like minded people, local events, meetups, etc. In this digital age it shouldn't be as hard as it is to find people like ourselves and local places to socialize.

[koifish]

I like okc.

[TL4everu2]

Once again, OKC has sucked for me.

I re-did my account on there. As did my wife. Within an HOUR of re-opening her account, she had e-mails. I re-opened mine about 3 months ago, and still have yet to recieve an e-mail, OR a response to any I have sent.

In an experiment, I had that account closed, and had my wife open a new one for me. This time, she did the description and added the pics she thought would be best. Still nothing....So she started looking around on there FOR me. She found a person she thought I would like, and started a conversation with her. Turns out she and I (this new girl) are completely different. She is into the whole bondage thing and being a "slave", etc. I'm totally NOT into that. I act out a dom occasionally for my wife because she likes that, but I can't hold up the act long. My wife likes to be restrained.....I can't stand it.

So, I finally, after 2 or 3 e-mails to/from this lady, told my wife that if SHE wanted to talk to this lady (who is also bi) and possibly hook up with her, then by all means, go for it.....But that I was NOT going to keep on talking to her.

It's not like I'm not active on the site either. I take quizes, andswer different things, send out e-mails to the 2 or 3 women who are actually in my area who are decnet looking....AND bi. :rolleyes:

I don't have to find just ANY unicorn...I have to find a PURPLE one....with a pink horn and blue eyes and red hooves. :rolleyes: Whatever....I've given up anyway.

Dating has either changed...Or I just always sucked at it. LOL

[nycindie]

I take quizes, andswer different things, send out e-mails to the 2 or 3 women who are actually in my area who are decnet looking....AND bi. :rolleyes:

I don't have to find just ANY unicorn...I have to find a PURPLE one....with a pink horn and blue eyes and red hooves. :rolleyes: Whatever....I've given up anyway.

Hey TL, I was under the impression that, since you've been looking for a guy for LT, that you two were interested in having separate relationships for now. Couldn't you look for a woman just for you, if LT has a guy just for her? In that case, you wouldn't need to limit yourself to bi women, or a "unicorn" situation where you have to share her (gosh, I'm really beginning to hate that term). Might be easier to find someone, maybe?

What's your username on OKC?

[TL4everu2]

Hey TL, I was under the impression that, since you've been looking for a guy for LT, that you two were interested in having separate relationships for now. Couldn't you look for a woman just for you, if LT has a guy just for her? In that case, you wouldn't need to limit yourself to bi women, or a "unicorn" situation where you have to share her (gosh, I'm really beginning to hate that term). Might be easier to find someone, maybe?

What's your username on OKC?
No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now. And if I find someone who I like, she must be bi, so we are all together the first few times. This is so that L can feel more comfortable with the woman. I respect that, and therefore don't look for any women who are not bi. The problem, is that even here in a large city like Tampa bay, there are only 3 pages of women who match my criteria and live within a 50 mile radius of me. :rolleyes:

In her defense, I do something similar with her. (albeit for different reasons) I go out wiht her on her first few dates with a guy. I do this to let the guy know that I AM her husband, but more importantly, to make sure she doesn't get put into a bad or dangerous situation. This is also per her request.

I recently said what you did... about looking for straight women also....but it isn't something she is comfortable with........so...I wait patiently. Today, I pointed out a woman who was straight. This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I need to stop posting right now...My back is killing me, and I'm irratable...Which may cause me to type things that I don't mean...Or things which are simply mean. I WANT this to work......But don't know how.

[lovemultiplied]

My husband and I are on okcupid....and it's been pretty kind to us. Lol

[nycindie]

Couldn't you look for a woman just for you, if LT has a guy just for her?

No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now.Got it. Cool - I understand. I just thought that you two were doing something different now, because of your posts about looking for a guy for her. Til then I thought that you had only been interested in a triad, so I misunderstood.

This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I take those match percentages with a grain of salt. I mean, do you really want someone who's just like you? LOL. I think anywhere from the 60s and up could be good. The people I'm a 90% match with usually don't work out, for some reason.

[TL4everu2]

I take those match percentages with a grain of salt. I mean, do you really want someone who's just like you? LOL. I think anywhere from the 60s and up could be good. The people I'm a 90% match with usually don't work out, for some reason.Oddly enough, My wife, is a 95% match to me....and I am a 94% match to her. :cool: We think it's pretty cool.And the more questions I answer, and she answers, the higher our match percentage goes. LOL After 20 years together, I think we think a lot alike...and yes...I LOVE being around others who are very similar to me. I would be bored as HELL at a cat show or dog show....and I'm sure the woman who enjoys those sorts of things, would be HORRIFIED at the thought of going to watch UFC at Winghouse. (I could be wrong) So yeah, I want someone who is as much like me, as possible. ;)

[MindfulAgony]

No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now. And if I find someone who I like, she must be bi, so we are all together the first few times. This is so that L can feel more comfortable with the woman. I respect that, and therefore don't look for any women who are not bi. The problem, is that even here in a large city like Tampa bay, there are only 3 pages of women who match my criteria and live within a 50 mile radius of me. :rolleyes:

In her defense, I do something similar with her. (albeit for different reasons) I go out wiht her on her first few dates with a guy. I do this to let the guy know that I AM her husband, but more importantly, to make sure she doesn't get put into a bad or dangerous situation. This is also per her request.

I recently said what you did... about looking for straight women also....but it isn't something she is comfortable with........so...I wait patiently. Today, I pointed out a woman who was straight. This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I need to stop posting right now...My back is killing me, and I'm irratable...Which may cause me to type things that I don't mean...Or things which are simply mean. I WANT this to work......But don't know how.

Unfortunately, her restriction is way more restricting than yours. Even though there are many more bi women than (openly) bi guys. Insisting that you attend the first several dates with a new person is just not in the same category as insisting that you find a bi girl that will have a relationship with both of you.

If I were in your situation - because of the vast difference in degree of difficulty - I wouldn't do them in parralel. You absolutely risk having the poly experiment going down in flames because one partner is - structurally not because anyone is acting badly - left out in the cold.

Find the unicorn first. No other relationships pursued. Thusly, everyone has the same skin in the game, everyone is experiencing the same frustrations, eveyone is dedicating the same time and attention on the problem. Once unicorn is located, compatibiliity assessed and woo'd, then you can proceed with other poly adventures.

As it stands, seems like set up for failure given the conditions, location, and personalities involved. Because it is what I would call a "structural problem," you increase your chances of fixing it with a structural solution.

Finding a compatible unicorn (I guess we don't call them that for nothing) will not get any easier. It will take time, patience, and continued frustration. OKCupid is not going to solve those problem for you, even if it can facilitate the process of identification and assessment.

I do hope your prospects improve.

[TL4everu2]

Mindful, Oh how we miss Seattle. It was such an open minded town. :( Oh well...We are in Clearwater Fl now...So...Here we are.

I somewhat agree with you.

[RedCanna]

Hi, Was such a site ever established? Thanks