View Full Version : New to Polyamory
06-04-2009, 02:56 AM
Hello from New England. I am a 41 year old married male in a loving relationship with my wife. We have a May/December relationship meaning I am somewhat older than she. Reciently she came to realization that she may be missing out on her youth by being married and we agreed that it might be a good idea for her to experience things that she has not had the chance to experience, such as the party scene and hanging out with people her age. We do not want to give up on our marraige since we do get along so well and have a really good time together. I am having a hard time adjusting to Polyamory and have come here for some support and to try and understand this lifestyle. I would love to make new freinds, and may have some things to offer as well.
06-04-2009, 12:30 PM
heyla and welcome :)
06-04-2009, 01:21 PM
Thank you for your welcome message. I am new to the site and am still learning the ins and outs. I am very impressionable... :)
06-05-2009, 01:38 AM
We do not want to give up on our marraige since we do get along so well and have a really good time together. I am having a hard time adjusting to Polyamory and have come here for some support and to try and understand this lifestyle. I would love to make new freinds, and may have some things to offer as well.
Welcome to the site. Polyamory is not "the party lifestyle" in every case. You might actually be looking for a swingers club. That's down the hall and to the left. Polyamory is being open to loving relationships, not just sex, with more than one person. It actually, in my opinion, the basis of a less Dysfunctional societal model. I hope to elaborate on that further, but I want to be sure I am in the right place, and not just a pseudo swingers site before I do.
I know that most guys are impressed with a guy who can get two women to go to bed, but try thinking of him as the breadwinner and support structure for both of those women as well; unless of course, one of the women is a rich widow.
06-05-2009, 03:26 PM
I'm really new at this, and it's my wife who is "poly", not me. But I agree with alphafour- to me, poly is about love, more so than sex. But if you read some of the threads on this site, there are other people who want to just to sleep around, with no emotional involvement, and call that polyamory, too.
06-05-2009, 11:31 PM
You are correct about some of the trollers RG, but for the most part this is about love and committment and depth of the relationship to most of us on these boards.
06-07-2009, 10:39 AM
Welcome to the forum look. I definately think that what you're looking for is more along the lines of swingers. There's a definate difference. My wife and I started out by trying to spice things up in the bedroom. So we'd bring the occasional woman in and we'd all have our fun. Then, one day it happened. We fell in love. That's being Polyamorous. Since that point we've realized that what we wanted wasn't just sex, but to share our love with someone and have the same in return.
Good luck and please feel free to bounce ideas and ask questions off of the members of the forum. Look forward to hearing more! :)