Hi, it's Natalia, creator of Showtime's "Polyamory: Married & Dating"

[directornatalia]

Hello community,

This is Natalia, creator/director of Showtime's Polyamory: Married & Dating. Thank you all for your amazing support with the show, it means the world to me.

I'm reaching out in hopes of speaking with poly families interested in possibly sharing their story with me. I'm looking for polyamorous families that are charismatic, healthy, active; can be unmarried but practicing poly (don't all have to live together); bisexuality is welcome in both male and female partners; and are open to sharing all aspects of their love lives. Between the ages of 25-50 would be ideal.

As I think you have seen, I am a person of integrity and my intent is to portray polyamourists as loving, mature adults who are capable of carrying on multiple loving relationships in a world that has programmed us for monogamy. I've had so many people reach out to me, mono people struggling in their relationships telling me the show changed their lives for the better. Despite what Dr. Drew said, I believe 100% that Polyamory is a sustainable way of living — and I would like to possibly continue the pro-Polyamory conversation in the mainstream.

If you are interested in speaking with me, I would love to hear from you, email me at natstertv@yahoo.com I think it would help if you've seen the series to get a sense of what is expected. Also, if possible, i would greatly appreciate a picture along with your email so I can keep track of who's who...Thanks again, much love to everyone, I look forward to speaking with some of you! xo

[polymale]

We love your series! Thanks for what you are doing!!! :)

It is truly inspiring.

One thing we noticed though... You don't seem to address ordinary living together issues much... things like.... from the mundane issues of squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end... to finances... just all the ordinary things that go with any people living together.

Of course, the unique polyamory issues of jealousy and honesty are central to this lifestyle. We understand that. But it doesn't seem like "reality" if ordinary living together issues aren't addressed.... like listening to music too loud... walking around in your underwear.... house chores... money, money, money.... etc.

[Stevenjaguar]

You're looking for people to make another production with. My concern is that the people who may help you do it don't fully realize the consequences of having their names and faces on televisions around the world. What happens when their names are googled can cause them to lose jobs, not get hired, not get security clearances (in our move toward a national security state) and otherwise suffer socially and financially.

While some are independent, most are dependent for their livelihoods on people who must keep up appearances of conformity to ensure their own careers. Other friends and relatives are so conventional, or believe they must appear to be, will shun and isolate them. I was briefly involved in media production and I know that once the show is "in the can" there is little if any regard to what happens to the actors afterward. Sad, but that's the way it is.

[Wizzard]

I have not seen the show, so cannot comment on that. The only thing I have to say is: How do we know you're actually involved with the show? The only piece of information you've given is a free yahoo.com address, which, frankly, I can get a fairly official sounding email at... right now. poly.amoury@yahoo.com

Not to sound paranoid, but... I guess I'm paranoid.

[Helo]

As much as I enjoyed the first season, I'm...a little hesitant about the idea of there being another season.

The show just seemed to have a disproportionate focus on the sexual aspect of polyamory. Even the intro is hypersexual and I'm worried that people who aren't poly will draw the wrong conclusions from seeing the show.

Those of us here understand what we're seeing and get that polyamory is much more than a constant sex-fest. Mono people seeing the show I'm worried will take the wrong message away.

The concept of loving more than one person in a romantic way is such an alien concept for most people.

Dont get me wrong, I'm extremely excited to see polyamory in the national view but again I'm a little worried that the core message of the show is really only going to be heard by people who already speak the language. Preaching to the choir so to speak.

[1of4]

My husband and I are part of a quad with another married couple. We avoid labels and haven't necessarily named what we have poly, but that is clearly what it is. We've yet to meet (except online) any other poly people and we're still kind of figuring things out as we go along.

For professional reasons, we could never even consider going on a show like yours, but appreciate the people who agree to.

We loved your show. The sex scenes didn't bother us like some have expressed, but they also aren't why we watched it. We watched it for the group dynamics and just to learn from observing how the groups structured their relationships, how they communicated, how they resolved conflict, etc.

We'd love to see more about daily life and group dynamics in future seasons. We'd also like to see groups that don't live together. We spend weekends with our friends, them staying with us or us with them, but we don't live together. I'm just guessing, but there are probably a lot more groups that don't live together than that do, so more of us could probably relate to that scenario.

Can understand why you included so many sex scenes...after all, group sex can be amazing, is the stuff of fantasies for many people, and sex sells. But I agree that isn't what poly is all about and don't want people to get the wrong idea, so hope there is less sex and more group dynamics in future seasons.

[ImaginaryIllusion]

The only thing I have to say is: How do we know you're actually involved with the show?
Fair question. Natalie has been posting this elsewhere, and has been posted at Polyinthemedia (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.ca/2012/09/casting-call-for-possible-2nd-season-of.html) and the CPAA (http://polyadvocacy.ca/casting-call). The address tracks. If in doubt, you could probably try her website at www.nataliagarcia.net




Dont get me wrong, I'm extremely excited to see polyamory in the national view but again I'm a little worried that the core message of the show is really only going to be heard by people who already speak the language. Preaching to the choir so to speak.
Alan M just did a decent article (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.ca/2012/10/the-showtime-polyamory-series-taking.html) about the show and some of the pro's and con's of it. I'm also not represented by the young pretty people boinking shown in the show, but the unfortunate truth is that to get the dialog open, a show needs to be done, and it needs high enough ratings to be renewed. And sex and drama will get those ratings.

I'd much rather see poly's on TV, even if they're not the sort that would date me, and have those conversations come up at work, than I would with the current conversations about Honey-BooBoo... :confused:

[Helo]

Alan M just did a decent article (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.ca/2012/10/the-showtime-polyamory-series-taking.html) about the show and some of the pro's and con's of it. I'm also not represented by the young pretty people boinking shown in the show, but the unfortunate truth is that to get the dialog open, a show needs to be done, and it needs high enough ratings to be renewed. And sex and drama will get those ratings.

I'd much rather see poly's on TV, even if they're not the sort that would date me, and have those conversations come up at work, than I would with the current conversations about Honey-BooBoo... :confused:
Oh absolutely, I'm all in favor of there being a show about polyamory and I do feel like, as sex-focused as PMD is, its still a good snapshot of part of the community.

As I said, I'm just a little worried that people who dont "speak the language" per say arent getting the message that Natalie thinks they're getting. From some of the dialogue I've seen online and in person, there ARE a fair number of people who missed the point.

[Derbylicious]

When you say healthy and active I think what you mean is thin and attractive. Best just to spell it out like you mean it. I am healthy and active but my body isn't one that would be chosen to be on TV.

I'd like to see more of a balance in the next season. I'd like there to be a more family oriented tribe that's more representative of the way some of us live. Also seeing more V's or other combinations besided people who are all involved with each other would be nice.

[LovingRadiance]

Less sex, more acknowledgement and focus in polys who aren't having fgroup sex.

My mono friends and family were all given the impression poly is all about make up sex in groups.
As the hinge of a v, both partners being hetero males-totally not our reality.

Furthermore, my impression wasn't that there was healthy dialogue and communication-instead there was manipulative, selfish and controlling communication.

[Helo]

Furthermore, my impression wasn't that there was healthy dialogue and communication-instead there was manipulative, selfish and controlling communication.
I would disagree. I think the some of the people on the show made mistakes, the same as any relationship does.

[CielDuMatin]

I'm curious as to whether the OP will ever come back and read these answers...

[Tang]

Love your show, its nice to see poly being introduced back into the public eye, now if only it got on to cable channels

[drtalon]

I'm curious as to whether the OP will ever come back and read these answers...

She was slightly more responsive on reddit. http://www.reddit.com/user/directornatalia

[aLABiMCpl]

`

It will be good to see more Poly people like the Triad and Less Swingers like the "Pod".

Hope the search goes well.

`

[NovemberRain]

She was slightly more responsive on reddit. http://www.reddit.com/user/directornatalia

Looks like she's deleted most of her comments. Seems community was not all that receptive to her.

[Helo]

Looks like she's deleted most of her comments. Seems community was not all that receptive to her.

She's stopped interacting with a lot of the community. I would guess because the show wasn't as well received by the community as she was hoping. She was also not terribly open to criticism about the show.

[mrandmrsright]

While I won't go into the subtleties of how some characters' personal opinions could be identified by the unknowledgeable public as all poly opinions, my wife and I thought the show was GREAT! We recently started dating another woman and asked that she watch it. Needless to say it brought up a truly energetic conversation about our relationship, where it was and where we wanted it to go. The show opened our eyes to the though of polyamory as a principle more than a practice and really welcome another season.

Leo

[Magdlyn]

Wow, I totally missed this thread. Is this series available on hulu or anything?

Although if its premise centers on young thin pretty people having group sex, it paints a very inaccurate picture of Polyamory. As we experienced polys know, many people living this way are older, past the age of having young children, and certainly not living in large groups and having sex with 3 or more people all the time. If this producer would have read our board she could've seen all the middle aged polys here, singles, or couples, who date on their own, don't "share a female" in a triad, and guess what? Some of us are fat! And plain of face!

I love how she's trying to get people aged 25-50. Blech. Ageism. Old people being romantic and sexual is, of course, always gross.

[Helo]

Wow, I totally missed this thread. Is this series available on hulu or anything?
Not quite yet. It probably wont be until season 2 starts.

[Magdlyn]

Not quite yet. It probably wont be until season 2 starts.

So there is a season 2? She found her young pretty group sex-havers?

[Helo]

So there is a season 2? She found her young pretty group sex-havers?
AFAIK, yes. No idea when, but I have heard whispers that it got green-lit.

I know there's another poly show in the works currently but no idea who is making it. They're still trying to convince the suits its a good idea

[gomugirl1656]

I think my poly life would not make for interesting viewing. we are fat middle aged and generally pretty agreeable. We've had a long time to practice though. What I am trying to say is that unless there are hot young people having sex most people would find poly too normal to watch for long.

[Helo]

Even smexy young people sex gets generally boring after a while.

I'm watching Spartacus: Blood and Titties (yes I know it's technically Blood and Sand but there is an abundance of breasts, therefore I have renamed it after the two most prominently featured aspects of the show, though mostly naked men do feature a close third) and as much as I like the show, there is A LOT of fucking going on. Its gotten to the point where I fast forward through the sex scenes.

They're not badly done nor are the participants unpleasant to look at but good GODS there are a lot of them. I enjoy shapely forms gyrating as much as the next guy but when you use them like you would commas, it gets old quickly.

I ran into that a lot with Poly: Married and Dating.

[mrandmrsright]

I know I'm fairly new to the forums, but I'd like to emphasize a point. I think there's far too much attention to the fact that the folks picked for season 1 of the show fit a certain demographic. Yes, they all appeared somewhat fit or what's otherwise been described as skinny. Yes, they all seemed to be earlier in age (although I'd debate that comment regarding the pod, only in comparison to my age). I think what matters most are two things. One, the fact that these people felt compelled and compassionate enough to come clean with all who would watch and tell their story is admirable. Two, I feel the fact that they've come to recognize and embrace what they want for themselves regarding their life choice is also admirable. If only more polys were less inhibited by society, family and work I think we'd live in a much better world.

Leo

[gomugirl1656]

Don't get me wrong. I love that poly is becoming more visible but she does kind of have to work the sellable angle to keep a show. That's all I meant. When poly works well it is normal. ;)

[trvlngypsy]

I'm also fairly new to the board but I wanted to chime in, since I recently watched the first season.

I thought it was great, well put together and an all around good first try.

I had a hard time trying to convince my mono-husband that this wasn't what poly was all about. Not every relationship is a group/pod that all sleep with each other, poly isn't all about sex, and not all poly people have multiple partners or are open-poly.

As a new to poly person myself, I'm working on a Vee relationship; as the hinge between my husband and our good friend. We are still very new to poly and I felt like I had to explain that not every poly person was like the people depicted in the show.

So I would love to see more of a variety in the relationships and more of the mundane stuff.

Thanks for the thread though!! I will not be volunteering as I have to agree with what others have said, I'm healthy and athletic/fit, but would be considered fat if put on TV. I wouldn't mind seeing more variety here too, but I think it might make it too real for TV. I don't know.

[3qualLov3]

Or you could find me on here I we still have this by then I just made this account today and saw your add here too. I was going to post it but you beat me to it (hehe) def will be still interested always. Love to help get this beautiful lifestyle story out to the "real world".

Jessica & Stephen

[aLABiMCpl]

I think my poly life would not make for interesting viewing. we are fat middle aged and generally pretty agreeable. We've had a long time to practice though. What I am trying to say is that unless there are hot young people having sex most people would find poly too normal to watch for long.


It certainly takes time, introspection, & experience to be truly Poly. (In which time, time has caught up to us)

The Triad on the show amazes me how well they "get it" & live it at such a young age.

While some in the Pod have the ideal in mind, but have removed themselves from the reality.
Seriously, no one flips out about being called on being Poly that much, unless they know/feel they really are not.