View Full Version : Old Relationship Energy -- Share your yays?
07-06-2012, 07:09 PM
We hear a lot about NRE awwwww..... Be nice to hear some ORE awwww too!
So can I just get some Old Relationship Energy yays? I'm liking mine so much right now that I want to be nosy and hear it as other people experience it.
In your ORE, what gives you the yippyskippy? :D And how do you say it/show it?
I'll be back to answer my own question later. ;)
07-06-2012, 07:19 PM
Are you talking about sharing poly successes? We have a "sticky" thread for that, which you can add to here:
Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=197).
07-06-2012, 07:22 PM
Oh, yay -- hadn't gotten that far in reading stickies. Thanks!
But not exactly. I meant just the ORE part.
I know I'm experiencing huge volumes of ORE vibe toward DH, and I'm trying to articulate that to him. Let him know how much I love him and appreciate him. I've already SAID it in words many times. SHOWN it in many ways. Some corny, some sexy, some conventional, some bizarre.
Recently and in the past -- hugs, kisses, letters, gifts, flowers, etc.
Was curious to read how other express it to their loved ones and steal some ideas perhaps for a new way to show it/say it.
After 20 ish years, it isn't that the love isn't there. It is SO THERE. But to create delightful surprise when my idea bucket is low is kinda hard.
07-07-2012, 01:13 AM
M and I have been married for 9 yrs now and together for a little over 12. Our energy toether is amazing. She does the most amazing things for me. I like ti tell everyone that she is the organizer of my chaos.
I am a deep and heavily committed fly fisherman. I am also a rather unorganized person but love to have everything in its place and a place for everything. She will out of nowhere go through and make sure all of my tying stuff is all where it belongs, and that I can find it. She will also do the same with all of my fishing bags. It may be something she does so she doesn't have to try and help me find something later on, or maybe (and what I tell myself) its because she loves me and knows without her in my life I would be a wreck.
07-07-2012, 01:41 AM
Runic Wolf and I have been together for 14 years and will be celebrating our 12 year wedding anniversary this fall. I love our late night conversations. It's my favorite part of the day, being all silly and goofy in love. :)
07-07-2012, 03:00 AM
That's awesome about organizing the fishing gear. DH is not into anything I can organize right now -- he's on video games and that's pretty much organized already. You reminded me of a time when I went and rearranged furniture in the house so all this music stuff was in one room like a mini studio though. I forgot about that one! He called to tell me he was coming him and I told him to stay away and not come back until I said to (because it was taking me longer than I thought!) He was amused.
Pillow talk time is fun -- recently we played it out like "truth or dare" and got to ask probing questions and dance like chickens. But I like that a lot too -- close heart-to-heart talks.
He likes quality time the best in terms of love languages and I've arranged for a kid-free weekend later this month. We've got some activities planned but I kind of wanted to have something small as an extra surprise. I'm just not sure WHAT.
I know just making the kid free weekend happen is a huge gesture of appreciation. I also know I don't NEED to do anything else.
But I'll all giddy like a kid. Hee hee. And I WANT to. So... yah. Stumper to think of something!
07-07-2012, 03:25 AM
We're looking forward to next week when our son will be at camp. He's almost 11 and I can watch his TV in his bedroom from my side of the bed because of the way our rooms are situated. It's going to be a real treat to be able to sleep naked for a whole week, especially in this heat.
07-07-2012, 04:27 AM
When I have time free from business obligations, our children, and my brother and sisters I like to just do silly stuff we used to do in high school. We used to go out to some random lake or whatever and just sit under the stars, stare into the sky and dream of the future. I also like to take her out for coffe, or breakfast then sit and look across the table at on another like a couple of giddy kids on a first date.
Fortunately the three of us love to fish and we go out together and have a day of fishing and just enjoying what the world has to offer.
07-07-2012, 05:18 PM
Hey, just thought I'd throw this in. Instead of "Old Relationship Energy," one of our members here, Magdlyn, likes to call it "Established Relationship Intimacy" - ERI. I do admit, I think it hits the mark much better. And sounds nicer. :D
07-07-2012, 07:27 PM
Ha -- I like that. "Established Relationship Intimacy" sounds appealing.
Aw... and I'm enjoying the peeks into other people's ERI times. :D
There's a thought. Revisiting old stomping grounds from our college days. Hrm.
07-07-2012, 07:51 PM
I often feel like O/ERE is like the difference between having a nourishing, deeply satisfying meal of comfort food, and eating two huge sticks of cotton candy (what I equate NRE to). To me it is much more based in reality, comfort, mutual understanding and history.
E. and I have been really enjoying our O/ERE as of late - I bought him flowers a couple of weeks ago, he's been leaving me love notes and bringing me breakfast in bed, I asked him out to an action/adventure movie (not usually my thing) and we've been going out for dinner at the local hippie cafe and sitting at "our table" holding hands and sharing our meals. Long walks with the dogs, intimate sex with mindblowing/knowing orgasms, dating other women and feeling really bonded to each other while doing so. That look in his eye that he knows and loves my soul without reservation, reflected back in my view of him. Our ability to communicate from the very core of ourselves, be absolutely vulnerable and know that it's safe, and our ability to laugh at ourselves and each other. All of that history and knowing wrapped up into every kiss, touch and hug - my soul mate and life partner whom my life will unfold next to. I sure do love him, and value the comfort and acceptance that we foster between us in our O/ERE! Last night we just chilled on the couch, him with a cider, me with a Stella, talking and joking around - no movie, nobody but us and the dogs, just relaxing and being together..... followed by some bondage, crop play and scintillating oral. Doesn't have to be boring to be established LOL!
07-09-2012, 02:46 AM
I just read through what hubby posted here (this is M, or better known as Megs). I figured I would put my .02 in. I love it when we do silly things like playing casino at the kitchen table of an evening, or a few games of farkle. To that's time well spent. We laugh, carry on, insult eachother, belly laugh, and when neither of us are paying attention we have deep involved convorsations.
07-09-2012, 03:22 AM
Fly has been giving me some ERI lately. He travels a lot for a sport he participates in, and he's pretty non-communicative while out of town. He's learned, though, that it makes me feel really good to know that he's thinking of me while he's gone, so this weekend while he was away he made a point to text me how he was doing, just check in with me and keep in touch every day. It's against his nature, but he does it because it means so much to me.
A lot of our ERI happens when we make plans together. It took us a long time to get to the point where we could feel that we have a future together. Now, to do things like plant apple trees that won't get fruit for a couple years is a real leap of faith, and a declaration that we'll be eating apples together at some point ahead of us.
We do all the regular stuff, like having regular date nights and that kind of thing, but it's the quiet moments when we're just living together and being in the present with each other, that's when I think my heart might burst and splatter gooey sticky love all over the place. :)
07-09-2012, 06:42 PM
Nice thread. I like OLD relationship energy because OLD is a word that needs to be reclaimed as something wonderful.
In my 20+ year relationship--to which our third was added just early this year--we have so many wonderful skeezy moments. Like when we have quiet time, and he rubs my feet, and we talk about the day's events. Or we find ourselves looking at something and quoting the same Simpsons/Kids in the Hall/Onion lines. Or when I find a cut-out paper heart somewhere I didn't expect it (most recently, one of my rifle range bags). Or when I come home with our partner after three hours out together, and find my husband has done a major house or land chore that was back burnered. Or when he orders and brings home just the right movie or CD from interlibrary loan.
Our third does many of these same things, and we each and both adore it and him. But there is a special glow when it happens with someone I've known for nearly half my life. The enduring quality of it. The simple intimacy. The utter honesty. And the knowledge that no matter how grumpy or upset or confused or inadequate I am, this man loves me for keeps. It's just awesome.
We're pretty sure that we'll find ourselves in this situation with our third in another ten years. :D
And I'm editing this to add:
The NRE with our third...I've been giving it a lot of thought. I suppose it helps that we are all older, but we aren't as loopy-goofy-NRE-ish as I've experienced earlier in my life in poly liaisons/relationships. It's quiet and deep and lovely while also being hot and fun and heart/mind/body expanding. Still, our third has said on occasion that he's looking forward to a time when we all settle in a bit more...even as he loves the energy as it exists. I've tried to compare the NRE with the ORE but for the life of me all I come up with is different facets of loving.