View Full Version : couple looking for....
05-06-2012, 03:33 AM
Hi! I am a 41 yr old female Married for 21 years. I have been bicurious for a few years now. My husband would like to watch me and possibly join in ONLY if I am comfortable with him being with the female we find. Once we meet/be together, we can decide where it goes from there.
05-06-2012, 04:41 AM
Welcome to our forum.
You can go to the "Dating & Friendships" area (use the "Forum Jump" menu, bottom of this page, right hand side, to get there) to post personals, I believe. Who knows, there might be someone else out there searching in your neck of the woods.
Hope you enjoy your stay here.
05-06-2012, 05:23 AM
My husband would like to watch me and possibly join in ONLY if I am comfortable with him being with the female we find.Are you sure it's a polyamory forum you want? Sounds like you are focused on sex.
05-06-2012, 10:31 AM
I think I would really like to have another female share my life with my kids and my husband. Of course the relationship would have to start somewhere. Talking, a sexual encounter or messaging. If someone is interested, it would be great to hear from you.
05-06-2012, 08:32 PM
I feel very similar to you but our kids have left home now. We were never sure if our fantasy should stay just that and whether the reality would cause problems. We now have a sexual relationship with a good friend of mine who is on her own. We 'get together' about once a month. All three of us are amazed that it has exceeded every expectation.
The only down side is for her, in that as she is on her own she misses us, but we all talk openly about this and stopped for a while as she was finding it emotionally difficult. I have found my husband and I have become even closer. However I feel this is because we have a 18 year loving, monogamous foundation.
05-06-2012, 11:56 PM
Thank u for ur reply.
The reason that all these feelings started for me is because my husband is not monogamus. When he first brought up 'his' fantasy, to see me with another woman, he caught me off guard. I thought about it a lot. During my thinking, he met a woman that was willing to be with both of us. Once they started talking about our threesome, I wasn't sure that I would be able to 'share' my husband. After he convinced me that he would not touch her until i was comfortable with it, i agreed. So my feelings grew more and more. This was about 10 yrs ago. Lately, I've been missing thise feelings about having another female in our relationship have come back. I love the thought of sharing my husband,my bed, my family vacations and everything that comes with being a family.
He met another woman, but she turned out to be a fake. She told us things that made our feelings grow more and more for her. I was so hurt when we finally realized she was playing with us.
I would really love to meet someone real. Not a fake.
05-07-2012, 03:13 AM
Well, I hope that you'll be able to find all you're missing/hoping/searching for. It sounds like this has been an emotional journey for you and your husband, and I only wish good wishes to you.
05-07-2012, 08:11 AM
Thank you Kevin.
05-07-2012, 01:41 PM
I feel in most relationship sex is the glue. As a wife these fantasys about another woman in our relationship were equal, I feel this is the only way it can work and be fulfilling in that all three people are equal participants. It is sad that you found someone who is fake, and that you got hurt, but the likleyhood is she was not malicious just trying to fnd her way in life and relationships
05-07-2012, 06:55 PM
Interesting - I feel that in most relationships, trust is the glue that keeps me together with them. After that comes communication. Without those I couldn't imagine a good relationship.
05-07-2012, 07:05 PM
Thanks for your words, with the way I am feing, I need as much input as can be given. Since we have not found anyone and due to our last encounter with this person, the.more i think about it, the.more I feel like something is missing in my life. My husband does not feel like we can find someone that will fit us both, but I feel.differently. I feel like finding the right person would strengthen our marriage and this person would be loved by both us unconditionally. I know once we find the.right person, I.will be.just as comfortable with all three of us participatingin making love.to.each.other.
05-07-2012, 10:43 PM
Well, the stuff that glues all relationships together (romantic and platonic) is of utmost importance, but I'm quite in favor of sex and think it "literally embodies" the divine.
My only caution is to not get too caught up in the hope/expectation of a "perfectly-balanced triad/delta/triangle." People are all so different from each other, that each relationship is bound to be different as well, and you can't always expect each person to be "equally attracted" to both of the other persons. It's important to let each relationship be what it needs to be, and value the diversity of those relationships. One relationship might be more emotional, another more physical, who knows.
I'm not saying don't have that fantasy because it's good and a rather sweet idea. Just remember that like in any good story, the fantasy will morph and evolve to fit the ever-changing/unpredictable curve balls that life always throws our way.
I understand the feeling of having something missing in your life, and I hope you and your husband will both find the perfect dream person for you.