View Full Version : Too long alone brings on the FEVER
03-05-2012, 03:27 PM
Possibly, it's not good to be alone too long. It's been a year and a half, but it could have ended for her even before that. I think she got bored with me. I'm not sure what she thinks. We were too polite to discuss it.
But, it's been at least 18 months alone and I've decided to connect again... with some one, by God, at this point, anyone. Of course, the fever to connect so consumes me that I fear I will make an unwise choice, since my chemistry is surging far ahead of my good sense.
Any votes out there... on either side... chemistry or reason.
03-05-2012, 04:14 PM
I have never been able to disconnect the two. The one will always interfere with the other. But that's maybe a girly thing. :)
The mind. Without an intellectual connection the chemistry is dead in the water for me.
As to suitability, there's always risk isn't there? I have never quite worked out how to do a risk assessment on any relationship and actually, now, I don't feel the need. I cannot consider what will happen ad infinitum, only whether there is a positive connection and potential for mutual pleasure and growth as a person. Hurt, it seems to me, is almost inevitable even when bitter sweet.
03-05-2012, 04:47 PM
...with some one, by God, at this point, anyone...
Desperation is rarely an attractive quality.
03-05-2012, 06:18 PM
.... may be overstating it. "Unfounded urgency" may be more of the situation. Never the less, the feelings of urgency are there, and I'm fighting it, which is why I'm posting about it.
03-05-2012, 08:44 PM
I'd say the feedback from the new women would be an indicator or barometer as to how much chemistry to let loose.
Too much and you could crash and burn the first time out....could set you back mentally. Something to think about.
Good luck D
03-05-2012, 10:03 PM
Spring fever? ;) it might take some very calm, cool and collective pacing. Good luck!
03-07-2012, 12:24 PM
My vote is for both; which, at this point, sounds like (boo-hoo!) casual sex.
03-07-2012, 07:31 PM
Maybe you should look for a swingers club near you... or hook up on line. I would suggest staying away from the cheaters though... It seems to work for some to just keep it all casual until someone comes along that is into more. Thing is that one can also get stuck in "casual" and never find anything more. It depends what you want. It depends on you. You could find the partners of your dreams at a swingers club or where ever, or you could find that the partners you are looking for wouldn't be interested in you BECAUSE you have been indulging in casual sport sex. It all depends... at least that is what I have found.
03-07-2012, 07:46 PM
Hmm, somehow I did not get the sense that the OP is looking just for sexual relief. I think he wants a connection, companionship, and not being alone anymore.
03-07-2012, 07:54 PM
I didn't either, but maybe he is the type that could burn off a little of the 'ol spring fever with some good 'ol fucking a stranger. :p Then he could get down to the business of finding a situation that suits him better.
I find it rather hilarious that I am wondering this as I would not consider it myself, but whatever, just a suggestion. :D I don't get that whole thing, but it seems to work for some soooo....
03-08-2012, 12:56 PM
I am touched and grateful that anyone would care to respond to my fever post. And, at the same time, I realize how easily what I thought I was saying can be heard as something else. As in all maladies, one can live with the fever, do nothing (but breath deep and rest), and eventually the fever will lift. Which is, to some degree what has happened in the last few days. But not entirely.
Red Pepper acknowledged the immediacy of my need and NYCindie validated the depth of it. CuriousMuse confirmed the complexity and risk involved in an impulsive encounter, and, as she says, the potential hurt, either to me or to the woman, if either appears to have exploited the other.
I'm grieving from the loss of my last relationship and want relief from the grief. I want both explosive thrust of satisfaction (as in Stravinky's Rite of Spring) as well as the intense confirmation of that eye to eye "look deep in your soul." It makes me feel like a whole person.
All of which is short term consolation. And, that may be OK. But, I'm here in this forum to see if there is not another solution that I have yet to learn.
03-08-2012, 09:12 PM
I can empathize Franklee. I have three partners that are just wonderful, but it doesn't mean I am not in pain, missing the relationship that just ended or frantic to fill that void. *hugs* solidarity brother :) we're here for you.