Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness (UUPA) [Archive]

Ravenesque

12-30-2009, 04:45 AM

A long time ago I found that the the Unitarian Universalist Association Principles and Purposes resonated with me. And I was pleased to find that the Unitarian Universalist church has a pagan section called Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS).

Within the last few days to my happy shock I found that the UUs also have an organization devoted to polyamory.

Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness (UUPA) (http://uupa.org/)

I list this for others who might find it useful as some UUs who are also polyamorous may not know it exists. I have not participated in as many UU events as I would like but this does further increase my good feelings towards them and their efforts to include people from so many walks of life under a compassionate message.

~Raven~

Ceoli

12-30-2009, 04:58 AM

As a longtime passionate UU, I say YAY!!! Many of the poly people I've known in my life were through UU connections and I have heard that UUPA is growing as an organization.

GreenEarthAl on this forum is also a UU. If you want to find some good networks to get involved with, I'm sure Al or me could hook you up. I think you'd find the work they do in identity politics interesting too.

greenearthal

12-30-2009, 05:17 AM

I am REALLY REALLY hoping to go to General Assembly this year and meat people from UUPA that I have seen the text from for several years without having any persona to associate with them.

Ravenesque

12-30-2009, 05:26 AM

That is so cool Ceoli! Wow, I didn't know you were a UU.

I'd been meaning to go to the UU Church regularly before I moved this year but I never did.

I researched them like crazy before college and when I was a freshman at university. I came across them while looking for pagan groups.

I actually went, completely new to that town and catching the bus late at night, to a CUUPS meeting. They were so nice. Warm and open. I was nervous at first but that did ease after a while. When they realized I didn't have a ride home and the buses had stopped running, a few of them drove me back to my dorm on campus. (This was me, first year out of NYC in a town where the public transportation was quite noticeably unlike NYC transit).

It was a very positive experience for me and I felt a little buzzed from the energy of the ritual.

I didn't and still don't feel the UUs would clash with my spirituality, politics or any of my identities. Nevermind my slight aversion to the word "church." I feel it would be a good supplement in my spiritual path.

I would like to find a spiritual center that my love also enjoys. He is Christian and accepting of my spirituality. We've spoken about it. The United Church of Christ is another that shares many of the same views as the UUs and they are allied it seems in different places. We'll explore together which is best for us individually.

There are UU congregations where I am now (still Upstate). One even had a Solstice celebration last week. I really yearned to go but there was a holiday party at work (out of millions of holiday parties dear lord...)

I've vowed to start in January and it would be great to connect with other polys who just happen to be UUs and vice versa :D.

~Raven~

Ravenesque

12-30-2009, 05:29 AM

Ooh. I will probably look it up OR I have already come across it and forgotten but what is the General Assembly? It sounds exciting the way you write about it :)

~Raven~

Ceoli

12-30-2009, 05:34 AM

Heh, if you googled my real name with UU or Unitarian, you'd get a heck of a lot of hits. I worked for a lot of churches in various capacities, but most often as music director. Then there's the young adult network where Al and I know each other from...then there's the AR/AO...and it goes on and on...

Ravenesque

12-30-2009, 09:56 AM

GroundedSpirit

12-30-2009, 02:56 PM

Raven,

Thank you SO much for starting this thread and to others who have contributed so far.
To date, we've only been vaguely familiar with UU, having had several friends (including lovers) that were members. Just in the last 2-3 months we've become increasingly curious about the potential because we feel a need to get out and have more human interaction with like-minded individuals (not just poly etc). We had actually made the initial call to the local UU leader (?) and had plans for making a visit after the holidays.
Your info & links turned out to be a real gem. Spawning from that came a treasure trove of just "good stuff" that seemed to support our decision & curiosity.
We've avoided such a thing in the past primarily because the terms "church" and "religion" have profound negative connotations to us. We think we've seen past that stereotype and are willing to investigate deeper and your links provided support for that decision. We encourage any other readers to peruse some of the material regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs. There seems to be a range of just "solid wisdom" circulating in some of these sites.

GS

CielDuMatin

12-30-2009, 04:58 PM

I think it was greenearthal that brought the UU church and their stance on poly to my awareness. Very pleased to see that at least one church has acknowledged that it doesn't clash with their doctrines by definition.

juliepatchoulie

12-30-2009, 05:19 PM

Awesome.

Ceoli

12-30-2009, 07:10 PM

Now I'm curious. But how many years have you been with the UU church?

~Raven~

I first got involved in the mid nineties on the advice of Kurt Vonnegut. (see the religious roll call thread for my story) I first got involved with the young adult network, then did a lot of youth advising and music directing at various churches. I served on some continental steering committees and also helped to form an online church for young adults. I used to direct and do the music for the bridging ceremonies at General Assembly (bridging ceremonies for youth who are aging into the young adult age range)

I do a lot of youth work and music work for the Unitarians in the UK now, including training in teaching a sexuality education course designed by liberal religious people that is far more inclusive and open minded about gender, sexuality, orientation and relationship structures.

Anyway, yeah....I'm all over the UU stuff :)

Ravenesque

12-30-2009, 09:04 PM

You're so welcome GroundedSpirit :D and I'm glad it was helpful to you and others.

I tend to connect the terms church and religion to negative meanings as well. I didn't understand how a pagan group could be connected to a church years ago when I first started researching. And there were lots of messages that you couldn't include Christian practices in your life as well as pagan ones. But the UUs seem unique. They include and reach out across so many religious and spiritual backgrounds and experiences.

It provides a place that I believe my love and I can share spiritually rather than being split because of a church that preaches intolerance and exclusion.

I know it makes me feel warm and bubbly lol. We just need to follow through. I know the UU pastor where we used to live welcomed newcomers at the beginning of every month. We still have to explore if the UU congregation also does the same where we are now.

Cool Ceoli, hope you don't mind me tapping you if I have questions *grins*

I am now looking up the Young Adult Network and the Church of the Younger Fellowship. I'll see if there are avenue to become involved in January.

~Raven~

Ceoli

12-30-2009, 09:15 PM

Ask away! I'm sure greenearthal will have something to say too. (he is made of awesome in every way)

Ravenesque

12-31-2009, 10:33 AM

I definitely will. :)

~Raven~

jasminegld

01-01-2010, 06:04 PM

I didn't and still don't feel the UUs would clash with my spirituality, politics or any of my identities. Nevermind my slight aversion to the word "church." I feel it would be a good supplement in my spiritual path.

I would like to find a spiritual center that my love also enjoys. He is Christian and accepting of my spirituality.

An independent group called UU Christian Fellowship (UUCF, www.uuchristian.org), is connected with Unitarian Universalism. UUCF leadership knows about polyamory. I'm a member of UUCF and a trustee of UUs for Polyamory Awareness.

It's possible to be either poly or Christian or both in a UU church, and be fully welcomed and included. You might need to provide a little education, but it's well worth it. I'd be happy to talk with you or your husband more, here, on the UUPoly email list, or in private email.

Jasmine

Ceoli

01-02-2010, 12:17 AM

bryophyte

01-02-2010, 03:48 AM

I do a lot of youth work and music work for the Unitarians in the UK now, including training in teaching a sexuality education course designed by liberal religious people that is far more inclusive and open minded about gender, sexuality, orientation and relationship structures.

Anyway, yeah....I'm all over the UU stuff :)

<3 OWLS! I mean, what other church will they teach about dental dams to 7th graders I ask?

Anyway, I'm a UU too1 My gf and I recently joined the church in Asheville and I had been a member of a UU church in Cleveland years ago (til I moved away to Chicago with my now-ex so he could join UU seminary!)

Anyway, I'm a member of the UU poly chat list but its pretty quiet. Guess I've not said much either though.

greenearthal

01-02-2010, 04:43 AM

Rather than retype: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showpost.php?p=15569&postcount=31

Ceoli

01-02-2010, 04:55 AM

<3 OWLS! I mean, what other church will they teach about dental dams to 7th graders I ask?

Anyway, I'm a UU too1 My gf and I recently joined the church in Asheville and I had been a member of a UU church in Cleveland years ago (til I moved away to Chicago with my now-ex so he could join UU seminary!)

Anyway, I'm a member of the UU poly chat list but its pretty quiet. Guess I've not said much either though.

Ha! I'm willing to be that there's a good chance I know lots of the same people you do. Now I'm really wondering who your ex is!!!

Ravenesque

01-02-2010, 05:10 AM

An independent group called UU Christian Fellowship (UUCF, www.uuchristian.org), is connected with Unitarian Universalism. UUCF leadership knows about polyamory. I'm a member of UUCF and a trustee of UUs for Polyamory Awareness.

It's possible to be either poly or Christian or both in a UU church, and be fully welcomed and included. You might need to provide a little education, but it's well worth it. I'd be happy to talk with you or your husband more, here, on the UUPoly email list, or in private email.

Jasmine

Thanks for reaching out to me Jasmine. I will definitely explore the link in depth. I've already clicked on it. And I will PM you if I have any questions. I am glad you can be both in the UU church. I doubt the UUs will ever disappoint when it comes to how embracing they are to different people of myriad backgrounds and perspectives. I am excited to start attending this coming weekend. And I would like to be involved in more than a superficial way. There is more than one congregation here and I have no idea how to make the decision which one to start going to regularly.

Seeking a spiritual center which both my love and I can share is mainly to do with the fact that I am Pagan and he is Christian. There are some churches, many within the Black community, which would encourage we both be of the same faith etc etc. I would rather be apart of a spiritual community which affirms diversity and life.

Edit: Forgot to add. I'm not married :). But a handfasting is something we would like to do.

~Raven~

jasminegld

01-02-2010, 05:52 AM

There is more than one congregation here and I have no idea how to make the decision which one to start going to regularly.

Seeking a spiritual center which both my love and I can share was more because I am Pagan and he is Christian.

I encourage you to visit several congregations. They will likely be very different. I also encourage you to talk candidly with the minister and/or lay leaders of each congregation. UUPA has trifold brochures on its website that you can carry with you for the minister and leaders, if you'd like.

Congregations that have a "Welcoming Congregation" designation have done extensive work around inclusion for bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender people. This isn't the same as doing work around polyamory, but the concepts and language are similar. The uua.org "Find a Congregation" function will tell you which congregations are designated "Welcoming Congregations."

If you'd like to, you can ask on the UUPoly email list if anyone has recommendations. You have to subscribe to post. There's a link to it on the UUPA website. Note that UUPoly has open archives.

Ravenesque

01-02-2010, 06:28 AM

I encourage you to visit several congregations. They will likely be very different. I also encourage you to talk candidly with the minister and/or lay leaders of each congregation. UUPA has trifold brochures on its website that you can carry with you for the minister and leaders, if you'd like.

Congregations that have a "Welcoming Congregation" designation have done extensive work around inclusion for bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender people. This isn't the same as doing work around polyamory, but the concepts and language are similar. The uua.org "Find a Congregation" function will tell you which congregations are designated "Welcoming Congregations."

If you'd like to, you can ask on the UUPoly email list if anyone has recommendations. You have to subscribe to post. There's a link to it on the UUPA website. Note that UUPoly has open archives.

Thanks for the information. :) I have been to the websites for the congregations in the area. They are all welcoming congregations. However I thought I had joined the UUPoly mailing list and it looks like I hadn't. I'm going to do that right now.

It seems the CUUPS chapter may serve more than one of the congregations as well. They have a mailing list and I'm joining that also.

greenearthal, that story almost has a fairy tale quality. Like join the UUs and you'll find your princess/prince charmings and lots of poly people :D Or that's just me lol.

~Raven~

bryophyte

01-02-2010, 03:39 PM

Ha! I'm willing to be that there's a good chance I know lots of the same people you do. Now I'm really wondering who your ex is!!!

His name is Aidan (started seminary as Heidi, he's trans). He's been to maybe 2 GAs and has done some youth ministry. Currently doing internship in Davis, California.

greenearthal

01-02-2010, 04:27 PM

Tahirabs

01-02-2010, 04:45 PM

My girlfriend visited this very interesting church with my mother-in-law while here in the states http://www.mcctopeka.org/region2.html
This church she said is churstian and christ base but done so so differently. SHe said even the communion was done by couples recieveing the blood/body... gay couples, straight, poly, ext. I noticed on their website there are other like minded churches around the US check this out... it is cool how even their chuch mission statement is to help make the U.S. community aware of aids/hiv, to serve/volunteer int heir local communities, and to be open to all kinds of people!!! Their sunday school class for children is even called "Rainbow Kids".... let me know what you think!

CielDuMatin

01-02-2010, 06:17 PM

My girlfriend visited this very interesting church with my mother-in-law while here in the states http://www.mcctopeka.org/region2.htmlNice link, Tahirabs! I notice that there is a New York branch as well at http://www.mccny.org/ and that they have had some involvement with the Poly Pride festivities. Shame that something like that is only in the city and not spread a little more throughout other areas of the state, but it's a start, at least.

Ravenesque

01-04-2010, 11:44 AM

My experience was more the other way around. I met a really cool person that introduced me to UU and Poly. I guess through going to Opus (the UU worship retreat for UUYA(young adult) I did meet a lot more polys/poly-curious people).

I have found that congregations and churches vary a LOT. And even my big urban UU church seems a bit stiff to me at times. But I feel like any city I visit I can go to service at the local UU church and make a bunch of friends. I feel the same way about Quaker and UCC churches, but I feel like I have to confess to them that I will never subscribe to their doctrine. I prefer the UU church where there are but seven principles and nothing else to subscribe to. And all of the seven principles are totally cool with me.

There are UCC churches here as well. Their websites are not as in depth as the local UU congregations'. But we're planning on exploring both.

As per Jasmine's recommendation, I've been looking at the newsletters of the UU churches here to get a feel for them before we check them out.

I found a link I came across long ago when I was first researching UU as well. http://www.unirondack.org/

It's a UU camp and conference center. In the Adirondacks (mountains yay!) They have spiritual retreats and camps there which seem as though they'd be fun and peaceful. I've added it to my list with the Pagan retreats. Places to meditate, ground and center, commune and reflect with kindred spirits are places I seek out.

I am hoping none of the UU churches here are stiff. Flexible is good. I do wish I had gotten a chance to go to one service at the UU where I used to live before I moved. But alas, onwards and upwards.

~Raven~

greenearthal

01-04-2010, 06:18 PM

I have been to Unicamp (which is a wonderful place (which is where I actually met Ceoli the first time)) but I have never quite made it across the state to Unirondack for anything. Not for lack of wanting to or really cool opportunities to do neat things there.

Ceoli

01-04-2010, 06:31 PM

Ravenesque

01-04-2010, 06:36 PM

Is Unicamp in Ontario?

~Raven~

Ceoli

01-04-2010, 06:37 PM

is unicamp in ontario?

~raven~

yep!

Ravenesque

01-04-2010, 06:39 PM

Here's a great website that lists UU camps and conference centers all across the US for anyone interested in going to any retreats or conferences.

http://www.cu2c2.org/

And aww...Unicamp...such lovely memories :) Yay for outdoor showers!

Oooh, thanks!

It is funny, I heard about Expansive Loving, the first online poly group I was to join, through the mailing list for a Pagan retreat, Starwood.

EDIT: I could possibly go to Unicamp and then Unirondack OR... are you ready? Unirondack and then Unicamp. Yeah... *nods*

~Raven~

FreeandUnited

01-07-2010, 03:34 PM

I've been aware of the UU polys for awhile now, though I've yet to contact them.

I'm the webmaster for the UU church I belong to, and I have a link up to them.

Unicamp, is that the one in Ontario, that has Bob's Beach? :-)

Ceoli

01-07-2010, 03:42 PM

Yep, that's the one. The fantastic clothing optional beach on the pond with the trampoline float :D

Which church are you the webmaster of?

Ravenesque

01-07-2010, 07:03 PM

Ceoli

01-07-2010, 07:07 PM

Last night, I was looking here St. Lawrence District of the Unitarian Universalist Association (http://www.sld.uua.org/) and I found here ConnectUU (http://connectuu.com/). And I'm all excited now. :D

~Raven~

All those people you see in the pictures on ConnectUU? Yeah, thems my peeps :D There's a girl there I'd love to introduce you to as she does a lot of identity and anti-oppression work like you do.

FreeandUnited

01-08-2010, 11:53 PM

Yep, that's the one. The fantastic clothing optional beach on the pond with the trampoline float :D

Which church are you the webmaster of?
Ceoli:

I am the webmaster for a church in Woodruff,WI.

And I've never actually been to Bob's Beach, but it sounds great, and as a NUUdist, that's how I know about it. :-)

Ravenesque

01-10-2010, 10:57 PM

This morning we went to one of the UU churches in our area. I was very nervous at first but it was terrific. Everyone was kind and more than a little welcoming, offering lots of information before and after the service over tea and later cookies.

It was a lovely morning. I'm glad we went.

~Raven~

Faery

01-17-2010, 10:39 AM

Should be heading out to Norwich Octagon but other half's really busy so we're going next week. Octagon Chapel, Norwich, UK (http://www.octagonchapel.org.uk/)

KlarssonNY

01-20-2010, 04:20 PM

I have been very interested in the UU group for sometime, I really value their ideals and welcoming community, I have visited a couple in other states, and felt welcome but was not there long term based on duration of my time in the area. I have thought about going to the one here in Rochester, I have been told it is a very diverse and dynamic group. I like the idea that they are accepting of poly people and different paths of spirituality and faith. I have a hard time with organized religion, but have found that the UU group does not directly impact my issues on that level.

And now that NY is my home, for long term, I feel more comfortable in joining such community.

jasminegld

02-03-2010, 05:18 PM

Now that we've got some enthusiasm for UU and UUPA in New York, when can we get an upstate New York chapter started? Every little bit of visibility improves, sooner or later, the acceptance of polyamorous people and families in more UU congregations. You can contribute directly to UUPA's mission of providing support, promoting education, and encouraging spiritual wholeness regarding polyamory.

For info about starting a UUPA chapter, visit uupa.org
Then email me for more information. My contact info is on the site.

Jasmine

Ravenesque

02-07-2010, 06:31 PM

So Valentine's Day is coming up. Many UU churches will be focusing in some way on "Standing on the Side of Love (http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/)." I can't wait for ours here.

The campaign goal is this: "Standing on the Side of Love is a public advocacy campaign that seeks to harness love’s power to stop oppression," as stated on their About (http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/about/) page.

And the why:

"This is a time of great hope and possibility, yet our communities are threatened by the increased prevalence of acts motivated by fear and hate.

No one should be dehumanized through acts of exclusion, oppression, or violence because of their identities.

In public debates over immigration, LGBT rights, and more, religious people stand on the side of love and call for respect, inclusion, and compassion."

And the how:

"The Standing on the Side of Love campaign elevates compassionate religious voices to influence public attitudes and public policy.

Through community activism (http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/1272/t/9818/p/salsa/event/distributedevent/public/search.sjs?distributed_event_KEY=536&city=&region=&country=USA), social networking (http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/?page_id=774), and media outreach (http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/about/?page_id=383), people across the nation are equipped to counter fear and make love real in the world."

I definitely see the connection of this philosophy with and the usefulness it could have for the polyamorous community.

~Raven~

GroundedSpirit

02-07-2010, 10:53 PM

So Valentine's Day is coming up. Many UU churches will be focusing in some way on "Standing on the Side of Love (http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/)."

Hmmmmmm

Wouldn't it be interesting if they or someone wouldn't just come out and "Stand on the Side of Love" for love's sake - with no agenda attached.
Oppression and all the other valuable social causes would be unnecessary.
Interesting..........

Ceoli

02-07-2010, 11:21 PM

Hmmmmmm

Wouldn't it be interesting if they or someone wouldn't just come out and "Stand on the Side of Love" for love's sake - with no agenda attached.
Oppression and all the other valuable social causes would be unnecessary.
Interesting..........

Yep. Wouldn't that be nice?

Unfortunately that's not the case, yet people still seem to think that there's a problem with having an "agenda" of inclusion and dismantling of such oppressions that exist. Reality is what it is.

Wouldn't it be interesting if someone could speak out for such "agendas" of equality and inclusion without others belittling such causes as un-evolved?

GroundedSpirit

02-12-2010, 02:12 PM

Yep. Wouldn't that be nice?

Unfortunately that's not the case, yet people still seem to think that there's a problem with having an "agenda" of inclusion and dismantling of such oppressions that exist. Reality is what it is.

Wouldn't it be interesting if someone could speak out for such "agendas" of equality and inclusion without others belittling such causes as un-evolved?

Yea Ceoli- looking back, that statement might have come off wrong.
I still have this habit of just letting thoughts flow off my tongue without a lot of forethought about how those with different sensibilities might read them.
I sincerely do cry out for a world where people's sexual preference, gender, race, social status etc were all non-issues as we all navigate life together. And as you say - that ISN"T now :(
But I've lived in such a world, albeit for a short time (and no-not just in my mind lol) and I guess I still harbor that fantasy that EVERYONE is capable of seeing the benefits and moving in that direction.
But that seems a fantasy too.

GS

Ceoli

02-13-2010, 06:06 PM

GroundedSpirit

02-14-2010, 05:42 PM

Thanks for that GS.

It can get a bit exhausting in a climate where choosing to speak out for such things is regarded as tiresome and annoying by others. I've experienced that sentiment on this forum.

Yes Ceoli,

Not to sidetrack the thread, but that is always a tricky balance.
I think any of us who have developed a passion for a particular cause have experienced that.
It's one of those skills you try to master in successful activism. There's an early phase when general public awareness doesn't exist and you have to make a lot of 'noise' to get the word out. But once past that phase - and detecting that point really is tricky - then you pass into a phase where a soft, casual reference is more than sufficient as a reminder. At that stage, more than that does/can become tiring or annoying as you said. It's like the big war drums continuing to beat long after the battle has begun. It can become more distracting than beneficial. The drums are intended to strike fear into the heart of the enemy. Once the battle has begun, you need to hear who's sneaking up behind you. :)

Carry on......

GS

Ceoli

02-14-2010, 06:01 PM

But once past that phase - and detecting that point really is tricky - then you pass into a phase where a soft, casual reference is more than sufficient as a reminder. At that stage, more than that does/can become tiring or annoying as you said. It's like the big war drums continuing to beat long after the battle has begun. It can become more distracting than beneficial. The drums are intended to strike fear into the heart of the enemy. Once the battle has begun, you need to hear who's sneaking up behind you. :)

I disagree. What needs to be done and how it needs to be done is not always dictated by those who are not aware of the issues or those who may be in positions of privilege where knowledge of such issues only constitutes an annoyance, especially since there is a whole group of people who are more profoundly affected by such issues and *have* to deal with it whether others feel ready to or not.

Just my two cents there.

Ravenesque

02-18-2010, 03:59 AM

Some UU ministers have taken stands not to sign marriage licenses until every member of their individual congregations who is partnered can enjoy the same privileges of marriage as heterosexual couples.

I have found that a few of the UU churches I know of, including the one I went to last Sunday, spoke of the particular situation those in LGBTQ relationships face including issues of filing federal taxes. Even if their marriage is recognized on a state level, federally it is not. I spoke with a lesbian couple yesterday who described the rigmarole filing taxes turns into, including filling out a "dummy" federal form so they can give those figures on the state level even while they file another form altogether federally.

While I don't care for marriage as it currently stands as a monogamous government sanctioned institution in the U.S., I do feel heartened and inspired by the stands UU ministers and ministers of other faiths take towards encouraging equality and being the change when it comes to love.

~Raven~

katharinerose

02-18-2010, 08:06 PM

I'm glad I found this thread! I'm UU, and leaving my church in MA was the one thing that made me really sad about moving back to WA recently, even though I was never officially a member. I didn't know there was any sort of poly presence, though it doesn't surprise me that there would be! I've been meaning to check out the local congregation but just haven't got around to it. I'm going to make it a point to go this weekend.

My wife, C, and I were honored to have our (not strictly monogamous) marriage blessed first by a retired gay Episcopal minister in an unsanctioned ceremony, and then legally bound three years later by my wonderful UU minister.

(Off topic, kinda)

Oh, and as a legally same-sex married person, don't even get me started on the tax thing. :rolleyes: It gives me a headache just thinking about it. I'm just glad that, for better or for worse, WA doesn't have income tax. Dealing with the Feds and MA is pain enough.

And just to make your head spin, while the required legal words to get married don't actually invoke monogamy (although most religious ceremonies do and we made sure to remove the "forsaking all others" line from ours), I did have to swear that my relationship with C was monogamous in order to add her to my health insurance at work as a domestic partner! :eek:

Ravenesque

02-18-2010, 08:32 PM

Yay! Welcome to the forums katharinerose!

Not off topic at all I think. And yeah, I could feel the pain of what it must be like to file those taxes during the conversation I had.

Having to swear you were monogamous for health insurance... :( That is really creepy. I hope universal healthcare doesn't become a complete shambles (now that really is a off topic lol).

I'd be looking forward to hear about your experience this weekend if you do go to your new UU!

We moved recently and started attending a UU church. There is commingling between a few congregations in this region. I've met some great people and I feel quite at home. It would be great to have a UUPA chapter here as well.

I may add more later. Late lunch is over :D

~Raven~

whirlingdervish

02-18-2010, 09:30 PM

I'm glad I noticed this thread. I've been meaning to check out UU for almost 10 years but never got around to it (:p). I was just talking with Maenad and some of our friends about heading to our local UU meeting this Sunday to check it out. Now I'm definately going.

Ravenesque

02-18-2010, 09:46 PM

We're visiting a different UU church this Sunday too. That'll be fun to come back and see what everyone's experience was like :D

~Raven~

katharinerose

02-23-2010, 06:13 AM

How was everyone's UU experience this weekend?

Mine was interesting. People were very, very, very friendly. Like, almost scary friendly. And there were name tags. Coming from a very reserved New England congregation, it was a nice surprise. I spent two years at my church in MA, even was a soloist with the choir, and never really got to know people that well. Not that people weren't nice and polite, but I never really felt like one of them. The people here are like your college roommates parents who meet you and invite you to their house for Christmas and then hug you goodbye within the space of an hour.

On the other hand, the service wasn't anywhere near as beautiful and inspiring as my old church. I always left feeling invigorated and that I had learned something new. The minister was at the district conference and the lay leaders, well, they seem like nice old guys but never seemed to have a point. And it was a much more casual service than I'm used to, which is fine, but I enjoy my ritual. They are currently searching for a new minister, so we'll see how that goes.

I'm going to keep attending, as the community seems wonderful. But I may need to bug my old ministers about putting the sermons out as podcasts.

Ravenesque

03-06-2010, 05:48 PM

Hi katharinerose and everyone!

We visited another UU church a few weeks ago. The church itself is much brighter. More windows and more sunlight. The people are still very friendly. My love felt a few were "close-talkers" a la Seinfeld. This would be true.

Oddly, as in katharinerose's case, the minister was also not there and the service was run by the church leaders. I felt the service was very moving still as it centered on volunteerism and the experiences of the members who volunteered in different ways was shared.

My first impression is that this UU church is more service-oriented. More active. More activist. In addition to this, there was more of a Christian flavor here than in the other UU church we had visited. Both congregations are full of children but this one also seemed to have many teenagers and more younger adults than the other.

Coffee hour afterwards was still fun and full of discussion and mingling. I carried out tons of literature as I'm wont to do.

Currently I prefer the previous UU church but I think this has a great deal to do with the overwhelmingly welcome atmosphere I felt when I went to the first. It was as though the sermons and guest speakers were speaking to my experience personally even while the majority of the congregation may not have been from the same background as me. I also like the regular references to and insights taken from various religions.

I think it was matter of being in the right place at the right time unusually.

Depending on which sermon and events move us, we'll go back and forth between the two.

My birthday is coming up and we'll be going to the city (NYC). I'm hoping to visit one of the UU churches there as well and see what it's like. And perhaps meet up with a few poly people :D.

~Raven~

jasminegld

03-15-2010, 11:29 PM

On the other hand, the service wasn't anywhere near as beautiful and inspiring as my old church.

Might you consider serving on the worship committee? Then you can participate in planning the services, and suggest ideas that will add in the beauty and inspiration that you miss.

Jasmine

korindino

03-24-2010, 12:00 AM

The fact that this exists is one of the reasons why I love the UU. You would never see this in the faith I was raised in.

Boo, Martin Luther.

chg2winter

04-03-2010, 12:06 PM

I actually just interviewed Mim Chapman, who is an officer for Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness, on poly stuff. You can hear it here (http://www.eroticawakening.com/ea057-what-does-poly-look-like/)(http://www.eroticawakening.com/ea057-what-does-poly-look-like/)

Warmly,
Dan

Gentlenest

04-09-2010, 11:40 PM

I'm currently just starting to explore Unitarianism. I've always found the concept interesting and invigorating, not being able to fully accept the 'Christian' version of the truth, or any other version that says 'My God is right, and yours is wrong...'. I'm planning to attend the Canadian Unitarian Council in Victoria in May, with friends from the poly community. Good to hear some of the positive feedback!

Mariya

04-22-2010, 11:56 PM

How wonderful! I've been UU for awhile and had no idea they were so supportive of the poly lifestyle. Not that I'm surprised....YAY UU!!!

singtoher

06-01-2010, 02:23 PM

Wow, what a great thread! I attended a UU church for many years before some life changes moved me away. I always felt so blessed when I got to perform for the church services. I do miss the people at my old congretation and have toyed with the idea of going back to visit. This thread has inspired me to go find a UU church where I'm living now.

peace and blessings to all!

jasminegld

06-02-2010, 12:48 PM

...I attended a UU church for many years before some life changes moved me away. ... This thread has inspired me to go find a UU church where I'm living now.

I hope you'll look us up at uupa.org

If and when you feel safe to do so, will you consider telling the minister and/or church members at your new congregation that UUPA contributed to your decision to return?

singtoher

06-02-2010, 02:14 PM

I hope you'll look us up at uupa.org

If and when you feel safe to do so, will you consider telling the minister and/or church members at your new congregation that UUPA contributed to your decision to return?

I will most definitely!

Athena

07-03-2010, 01:24 AM

Have always liked UU. You can be anything else and still attend :) Very open minded people.

Mendalla

07-08-2010, 03:21 PM

Been actively UU for about 7 years and attending UU churches on and off for much longer. I'd never heard of UUPA until now, but it sounds very UU, and I see no reason why UUs wouldn't support polyamorous relationships as we have same sex marriage. I flirt with going back to the United Church of Canada occasionally (many of their congregations are liberal to the point of being UU Christian in all but name) but can't quite wrap my head around giving up the diversity that I find in UU'ism. Nice to see so many other UUs and UU-curious folks around here. Will keep watching this thread.

Mendalla

Majikdancer

08-21-2010, 06:02 PM

I have been a UU for almost 13 years. Served two terms as a board member. Was the volunteer Director of Religious Education for 3 years. On more committees and teams than I can count. Currently serving on the newcomers/membership team. I have also been working for over a year as the office administrator for the UU church I attend. And I NEVER knew this existed. Shame on me.:eek:

jasminegld

07-06-2011, 09:05 PM

In case anyone receives update notices on this thread, I thought I'd invite you to check out the new thread on the same topic. We just finished the UUA General Assembly in Charlotte NC, and UUPA had an Exhibit Hall booth again.

Jasmine

Jtron

07-31-2011, 11:14 PM

Thank you for sharing this. I am UU (and new here) and think this is a really great organization. Thanks!

swmnkdinthervr

01-13-2012, 03:09 PM

WOW! I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread!!! Hopefully this is posted in the right place!

My wife and I are and odd mix of religious beliefs, seems there's nothing strange about that these days! I have Pagan /New age leanings and though I was raised Southern Baptist I never really connected with Christianity. My wife is a "recovering" Christian with a new acceptance of the validity of other paths!

Neither of us are actively participating in any form of spiritual endeavor and we have discussed our local UU church as a possible way to pursue our spiritual lives together. However, we are in a tiny ULTRA, ULTRA CONSERVATIVE town in Pennsylvania near Gettysburg (also small/ultra conservative).

We are also considering approaching a poly relationship which compounds the problem we face! The local UU church is for all intents and purposes a Christian church. It is VERY apparent that any discussion or pursuit of poly, pagan or other alternative path knowledge/spirituality is largely frowned upon in that church!!!

It appears there are UUPA contacts "relatively" local (withing 100-150 miles) but no listing of UU churches that we might be a better "fit" with due to our interests. Does anyone know of a list that specifies a range of interests covered in each church? When we "google" it we get several hundred churches and we would have to sift through each webpage individually!!!

jasminegld

01-13-2012, 06:57 PM

My wife is a "recovering" Christian with a new acceptance of the validity of other paths!

Does she want to explore Christianity from this new perspective? There is an organization called UU Christian Fellowship, which will be holding a Revival near D.C. March 22-25. I highly recommend the organization and the Revival.
http://www.uuchristian.org

The local UU church is for all intents and purposes a Christian church. It is VERY apparent that any discussion or pursuit of poly, pagan or other alternative path knowledge/spirituality is largely frowned upon in that church!!!

I am confused. Are you talking about the UUs of Gettysburg congregation? They have a Pagan interest group called Spiral Paths CUUPS, as well as a Buddhist meditation group. Have you talked with anyone in Spiral Paths CUUPS?
http://www.uugettysburg.org/othergroups.htm

The Unitarian Church of Harrisburg also has a Pagan group, called Clover Grove:
http://www.harrisburguu.org/Lay-Led/clovergrove.asp

The UU Congregation of Frederick MD has both a Pagan group, called CUUPS, and a UU Christian Fellowship group.
http://www.frederickuu.org/home/index.php

We are also considering approaching a poly relationship which compounds the problem we face!

I encourage you to make an appointment with the Gettysburg minister. Tell her all your various interests and your concerns about acceptance, and ask which congregations she recommends you visit to look for a good fit. It seems she gets around to a lot of churches in the region, so there's a strong chance she'll have valuable info for you.

Worried about mentioning polyamory to a minister? Don't be. UU ministers have heard of polyamory. They don't all agree about what to do with it, but at least they've heard of it.

If you need to, you can say that Jasmine from UUPA recommended that you speak with her, or with any UU minister for that matter. And you can print this message and show it to the minister you speak with.

It appears there are UUPA contacts "relatively" local (withing 100-150 miles) but no listing of UU churches that we might be a better "fit" with due to our interests. Does anyone know of a list that specifies a range of interests covered in each church? !

Not exactly, but sort of. Visit the congregation search page on the UUA website and check the box that says:

"Show only congregations that have taken part in the UUA Welcoming Congregation Program to become more inclusive toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people."

The congregation search page is here:
http://uua.org/directory/congregations/index.php

"Welcoming Congregation" does not include polyamory. However, congregations that are recognized as Welcoming Congregations have completed an inclusion curriculum that can be helpful when it comes to talking and thinking about polyamory.

This search page shows 14 UU congregations within 50 miles of Gettysburg, 11 of which are Welcoming Congregations.

Harrisburg and Frederick are both Welcoming Congregations,

Jasmine

swmnkdinthervr

01-13-2012, 07:27 PM

Thanks Jasmine,

Our information came from a couple of people that are by their admission former members of that congregation. We really should have gone directly to the minister and will.

We will approach her mentioning your recommendation, thanks!

We will come back here and let you/everyone know what we find out, you have been a big help!!!

John

swmnkdinthervr

01-18-2012, 05:41 PM

Hi Jasmine,

We attended the Gettysburg UU church Sunday, it wasn't at all as described. Apparently the aforementioned former members had an axe to grind! It was however far too straight laced for us to discuss anything remotely related to poly interests. We spent over an hour after the services were over getting acquainted with several of the members. Sadly the regular minister is only in attendance only one or twice a month so our questions we have to await her return! Thanks for your info!!!

John...and Sandi

jasminegld

01-18-2012, 06:27 PM

Sadly the regular minister is only in attendance only one or twice a month so our questions we have to await her return!

The minister's contact info is available on the the York church's website. If you make an appointment, then you won't have to try to "catch" her after the service.

Jasmine

swmnkdinthervr

01-24-2012, 11:23 AM

The minister's contact info is available on the the York church's website. If you make an appointment, then you won't have to try to "catch" her after the service.

Jasmine

Thanks Jasmine, unfortunately about the only free time we have is on Sundays so it is probably best/most convenient to meet with her on a Sunday.

John

jasminegld

02-03-2012, 12:31 AM

Were you able to meet with the minister yet?

Thanks Jasmine, unfortunately about the only free time we have is on Sundays so it is probably best/most convenient to meet with her on a Sunday.

All the more reason to make a Sunday appointment, so that she knows you are looking to meet with her. Otherwise, she might schedule a committee meeting or a meeting with another person.

Appointments are your friend.

Jasmine

swmnkdinthervr

02-14-2012, 11:54 AM

Thanks Jasmine, your point is well taken. We've been a little too busy to go back more than sporadically too so an appointment would give us something to aim at!

John

Sugarbooger

03-10-2012, 01:08 PM

Another UU-er here. Yes, it is pretty cool isn't it? I haven't met anyone from those groups yet, because I'm fairly closeted-(out of respect for my partners and our kids). I'm looking into seminary as well, but not for a while.

Scott

04-01-2012, 05:14 PM