Polyamory Books, Magazines, Websites

[River]

This topic/thread is for posting book review links, magazine article links, essay links, website links, and the like -- and for discussing reading material.

Here's a book review:

Opening Up: Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
By Tristan Taormino
http://www.ejhs.org/volume11/openup.htm

[yoxi]

I'm waiting for the arrival of Polyamory: Roadmaps For The Clueless And Hopeful by Anthony D. Ravenscroft, will let you know what I think once I've read it.

[River]

Yes. Please do. I'd also like to read that one.

[Lemondrop]

I just ordered Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera. It got a good review on Amazon, and I liked the way the first pages sounded.

ETA: I'm finding this book very insightful and informative. From the standpoint of a person just coming to accept polyamory, it has definitely explained many things to me in a way that helped me understand better. I enjoy that it has a section on polyamorous parenting. My one complaint is that I wish it would go into more depth on many of the issues; some of the chapters felt rushed, or would have benefitted from relating more examples. While I think that it could certainly be used by non-Pagans, it is most relevant to Pagans and may not be comfortable for someone unfamiliar with Pagan beliefs. There are spells included at the end of most chapters, and there is an appendix at the end of the book with instructions for astrology and tarot layouts relating to polyamory.

[yoxi]

Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick is not a book about polyamory, but I'd recommend anyone to read it. Stephanie's premise is that our happiness depends on a healthy balaance of intimacy and solitude (that is, being happy to be intimate with others, being happy to be intimate with ourselves), but that for reasons of fear etc. we often tend to settle for attachment and isolation instead, as poor subtitutes that we believe will keep us safe.

This book has certainley helped me in considering why I want to be in the relationships I want to be in, and why I want to be on my own :).

[River]

It seems to me that any bit of knowledge, skill, or awareness that helps us have better and healthier relationships, whether with ourselves or with others, will be useful to anyone wanting to practice an -amory, whether it be a monoamory or a polyamory. So that book does sound apt, Yoxi. I went looking for it at my public library, and sadly it wasn't there. Maybe I'll put in a recommendation at the library, which usually does honor such requests. (I need to excercise restraint about buying more books these days. I have hundreds of them!--many awaiting attention.)

I'd be happy to hear from you more about the book, as I find the basic premise fascinating.

[nikkiana]

I just finished up Tristan Taormino's Opening Up and I'd definately recommend it. I wouldn't say it focuses specifically on polyamory but is more of an overview of several different varieties of nonmongamy.

I read The Ethical Slut by by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt as well, it's also mostly a nonmongamy overview that touches on various different varieties, but I didn't find it to be as in depth as Opening Up was.... However, I did find it to be a much more relaxed, faster read.

[River]

A Review of Sacred Pleasure by Riane Eisler
By Spring Cascade and Zhahai Stewart
Originally published in Loving More #13 in 1998
http://www.aphroweb.net/articles/sacredpleasure.htm

[River]

What is Commitment?
A polyamorous perspective on love, sex, and relationships
By Cascade Spring Cook
http://www.aphroweb.net/stories/commitment.htm

[nikkiana]

Polyamory Weekly - podcast:
http://www.polyweekly.com

Opensexual - group blog with some poly related content.
http://www.opensexual.com

[WaywardDruid]

Here's one that I enjoyed reading:

The Polyamory Handbook A User's Guide by Peter J. Benson
http://www.amazon.com/Polyamory-Handbook-Users-Guide/dp/1434373444/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241647312&sr=1-1

After being defined Poly, way back when till now, I found it insightful and interesting. Even the sections that had little to do with my relationship style were informative.

Just Me,
Tim

[NeonKaos]

I just ordered Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera. It got a good review on Amazon, and I liked the way the first pages sounded.

ETA: I'm finding this book very insightful and informative. From the standpoint of a person just coming to accept polyamory, it has definitely explained many things to me in a way that helped me understand better. I enjoy that it has a section on polyamorous parenting. My one complaint is that I wish it would go into more depth on many of the issues; some of the chapters felt rushed, or would have benefitted from relating more examples. While I think that it could certainly be used by non-Pagans, it is most relevant to Pagans and may not be comfortable for someone unfamiliar with Pagan beliefs. There are spells included at the end of most chapters, and there is an appendix at the end of the book with instructions for astrology and tarot layouts relating to polyamory.

Oh goodness, I knew Raven from like 20 years ago. I just looked at this thread. I never heard that s/he (not sure how s/he identifies these days) wrote a book! I'll have to check it out.

Edit: Raven is a guy now... good for him!

[AutumnalTone]

I'm Pagan and I've avoided the book because it has spells included and astrology layouts and so forth. That spells are included suggests that many of the suppositions underlying the text are geared to a particular subset of Pagans, a subset that doesn't include me.

I do actually have it on my list to buy and review at some point. I just don't expect much from it.

[AutumnalTone]

While not directly speaking of polyamory, Thomas Moore's "The Soul of Sex" touches on the benefits of having more than one partner. The book is an involved, positive discussion of sexual matters.

[River]

Interview with Pete Benson on http://polyamory.org.uk

http://polyamory.org.uk/pete_benson.html

[River]

New article from www.polyamory.org.uk:

Working Positively with Jealousy
By Clair Lewis
http://www.polyamory.org.uk/jealousy_clewis.html

[Sunshinegrl]

http://www.lovemore.com/

Found this after seeing a New weeks article. :)

[River]

Loving More magazine now online
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/search/label/activism

[River]

"The Great Activity"

-- a personal essay on practicing polyamory alongside Buddhism --
Non-Buddhists will generally find this insightful and interesting, as well.

http://www.qzap.org/v5/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=507

[Ceoli]

Brought to you by the same friend of mine who made the Hot Bi Babe Flowchart ( http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/hotbibabe-flowchart-large.gif )

This covers a lot of ground on a lot of different poly topics and he updates it often.

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

[River]

Monogamy, Polyamory, and Beyond
By Jorge N. Ferrer
Tikkun Magazine
http://www.tikkun.org/article.php/Ferrer-monogamy-polyamory-and-beyond

[redsirenn]

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/science/01angi.html?_r=5&pagewanted=1&sq=borgerhoff%2520mulder&st=cse&scp=1

Interesting article about the idea that women marrying several men either consecutively or at the same time is better than a man doing the same (economically and socially).

In a study conducted in Africa by UC Davis, Pimbwe women benefit more than men by following the same behavior and are regarded higher by society than men who do the same.

Interesting... I have heard the argument in polyamory that women seem to be a driving force in changing sexual and societal roles of partnership and marriage... also that feminism has played a large role in this change.

[vandalin]

I just wanted to bump this topic up as a few of the other threads had mentioned that "evil" book that Mono hates (Ethical Slut) and I was curious as to what books other people have found that are "better" or maybe that focus more on the emotional and other parts of a poly relationship besides the sex, which I agree, ES does seem to focus on. Wow! What a run on sentence! Bad me! :)

[Ceoli]

I just wanted to bump this topic up as a few of the other threads had mentioned that "evil" book that Mono hates (Ethical Slut) and I was curious as to what books other people have found that are "better" or maybe that focus more on the emotional and other parts of a poly relationship besides the sex, which I agree, ES does seem to focus on. Wow! What a run on sentence! Bad me! :)

Honestly, most of the books I've read I've found less than useful from my perspective, though they may be useful for others. Mainly, it's because they offer a bird's eye view of poly relationships and don't offer much practical day to day, nuts and bolts advice. But also, they all seem to be written from the perspective of couples who are moving from monogamy to polyamory or for couples who are already poly and that simply doesn't apply to my situation. Poly singles aren't really on the radar.

My friend Franklin (from www.xeromag.com) is writing a book on polyamory and trying to get it published. I may be biased, but I suspect it'll be more useful for me than most of what's out there. :)

[Alan7388]

...are here:

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/search/label/Book%20reviews%20by%20me

Covered there are:

● Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships, by Leonie Linssen and Stephan Wik

● Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners, by Deborah Anapol

● What Does Polyamory Look Like? Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships, by Mim Chapman

● Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

● Polyamory in the 21st Century, by Deborah Anapol

● Gaia and the New Politics of Love, by Serena Anderlini-d'Onofrio

● The Ethical Slut, Second Edition, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

● The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide, by Peter J. Benson

● Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block

● Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, by Tristan Taormino

Listed in more or less reverse chronological order.

Cheers,

Alan M.