Stormbeta
12-07-2011, 03:46 AM
I'm currently in a relationship (C), and both of us find the concept of polyamory appealing / natural for us.
I have another close friend (F) who I've talked about a relationship with in the past and decided against it at the time. This friend shares many of my views on gender and relationships, but I have no idea if she'd be okay with a polyamorous relationship (and I'm not sure she does either).
This friend (F) and my current partner (C) are already friends. More importantly, one of the major reasons my friend (F) and I decided against a relationship was she wanted someone as a creative outlet, and while we worked well in other respects, that was something I couldn't really provide. My current partner (C) on the other hand could, and probably will as a friend (to F) even if I do nothing.
In addition, my friend (F) has occasionally admitted she sometimes regrets not giving things a chance in the past, and she hasn't had much experience with relationships.
All of this leads to thinking that I should suggest the idea of bringing my friend into my current relationship (with C), probably with me as the hinge. This isn't something I'd bring up until my existing relationship (with C) stablized (we're still very much in the NRE phase) of course.
Weighing out the possibilities suggests that it wouldn't wreck things just to bring it up, but I still have very mixed feelings about it. My friend (F) is prone to my influence, and the last thing I want to do is pressure her into anything, especially by accident.
There's nothing wrong with my current relationship (with C), I'm not looking to patch up any issues with it by doing this; indeed my current relationship is quite healthy and likely to stay that way regardless of what I bring up, I'm more worried about alienating my close friend.
I have another close friend (F) who I've talked about a relationship with in the past and decided against it at the time. This friend shares many of my views on gender and relationships, but I have no idea if she'd be okay with a polyamorous relationship (and I'm not sure she does either).
This friend (F) and my current partner (C) are already friends. More importantly, one of the major reasons my friend (F) and I decided against a relationship was she wanted someone as a creative outlet, and while we worked well in other respects, that was something I couldn't really provide. My current partner (C) on the other hand could, and probably will as a friend (to F) even if I do nothing.
In addition, my friend (F) has occasionally admitted she sometimes regrets not giving things a chance in the past, and she hasn't had much experience with relationships.
All of this leads to thinking that I should suggest the idea of bringing my friend into my current relationship (with C), probably with me as the hinge. This isn't something I'd bring up until my existing relationship (with C) stablized (we're still very much in the NRE phase) of course.
Weighing out the possibilities suggests that it wouldn't wreck things just to bring it up, but I still have very mixed feelings about it. My friend (F) is prone to my influence, and the last thing I want to do is pressure her into anything, especially by accident.
There's nothing wrong with my current relationship (with C), I'm not looking to patch up any issues with it by doing this; indeed my current relationship is quite healthy and likely to stay that way regardless of what I bring up, I'm more worried about alienating my close friend.