12-Hour Edit-Window, Abbreviations, and Stickies, Oh My!

[Clearheart]

There needs to be a page devoted to all the abbreviations and lingo for us newbies!
Thanx for the advice, patience is a virtue i am still trying to learn.

[redpepper]

There needs to be a page devoted to all the abbreviations and lingo for us newbies!
Thanx for the advice, patience is a virtue i am still trying to learn.

Check the definition sticky

[NeonKaos]

There needs to be a page devoted to all the abbreviations and lingo for us newbies!
Thanx for the advice, patience is a virtue i am still trying to learn.

There is. No one ever bothers to read it. There are also forum usage rules and no one ever bothers to read those either. It never ceases to amaze me how resourceful people can be when it comes to googling, finding this forum, registering, and figurring out how to post a wall o'woe, but their reading and written communication skills seem to be a one way street when it comes to reading what has already been written uere by others.

I take this Personally because i have done a lot to try to organize the information on here so that it is easy to find, and i know redpepper has done the same when it comes to tagging threads. I tend to receive it somewhat disrespectfully when someone comes on and asks "how do i deal with jealousy" or "does anyone have any coming-out stories" etc. because that tells me they haven't done any browsing arou d the forum as these two topics are both tagged and in Golden Nuggets. Golden Nuggets is right in the main directory on the main page of the forum and it says right underneath it "Posts worthwhile to read". How someone "can't find it" makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place.

Maybe i'm extremely intelligent, which is something i have been told but i dont FEEL exremely intelligent just because i am able to take one aspect of daily functioning and apply it to something tangentially related. In other words, it really is not hard to find shit on the internet, and the forum is part of the internet, so THEREFORE it is not hard to find shit on the forum.

The End.

[Clearheart]

ever considered that some people are not savy with these forums , that it may be their first time on and that navigating a website is not easy for everyone, some people need a bit of time to figure it out. Try compassion for these people. This is why i don't bother with talking online, you can't tell exactly a persons tone when it is just written.
seeya:eek:

[NeonKaos]

ever considered that some people are not savy with these forums , that it may be their first time on and that navigating a website is not easy for everyone, some people need a bit of time to figure it out. Try compassion for these people. This is why i don't bother with talking online, you can't tell exactly a persons tone when it is just written.
seeya:eek:

Sorry you're offended.

I just don't buy that and i explained why in my previous post.

Having said that, i apologize for interrupting the flow of conversation. I know this will be used against me at some point.

[Imapolygirlmaybe]

sigh.

When you post things like this is scares off newbies. I did not read all the forum abbrev's and lingo. I did not read every single solitary rule either. I was more interested in asking for help in situations I can't talk to anyone about. I was chastised for merely calling "polyamory" a lifestyle. At this point I'm done with this forum after reading a lot of the snarky, snippy, cliquey, high schoolish, "I'm smarter and better than everyone" answers.

There is. No one ever bothers to read it. There are also forum usage rules and no one ever bothers to read those either. It never ceases to amaze me how resourceful people can be when it comes to googling, finding this forum, registering, and figurring out how to post a wall o'woe, but their reading and written communication skills seem to be a one way street when it comes to reading what has already been written uere by others.

I take this Personally because i have done a lot to try to organize the information on here so that it is easy to find, and i know redpepper has done the same when it comes to tagging threads. I tend to receive it somewhat disrespectfully when someone comes on and asks "how do i deal with jealousy" or "does anyone have any coming-out stories" etc. because that tells me they haven't done any browsing arou d the forum as these two topics are both tagged and in Golden Nuggets. Golden Nuggets is right in the main directory on the main page of the forum and it says right underneath it "Posts worthwhile to read". How someone "can't find it" makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place.

Maybe i'm extremely intelligent, which is something i have been told but i dont FEEL exremely intelligent just because i am able to take one aspect of daily functioning and apply it to something tangentially related. In other words, it really is not hard to find shit on the internet, and the forum is part of the internet, so THEREFORE it is not hard to find shit on the forum.

The End.

[River]

At this point I'm done with this forum after reading a lot of the snarky, snippy, cliquey, high schoolish, "I'm smarter and better than everyone" answers.

Please don't run off away from here just because of one or two participants not being especially compatible to your style. There are people of every style and kind in here, and some of them need your input and support.:)

[NeonKaos]

My point is not that people don't read it. My point is that people complain that it's hard to find, and say that is why they don't read it.

If you've posted a thread in General Discussions, that tells me you know how to find the "General Discussions" forum. Don't tell me that people think their thread is the first and only thread in General Discussions. There are other threads there, and at the top, there are "sticky" threads (ones that are ALWAYS at the top). We have put redundant links to these all over the place. It's not so that people HAVE to read all of them before they can ask a question. However, you SHOULD read "every single solitary rule" because there might be one in there that APPLIES to you - such as the one that says you have 12 hours to edit or delete a post? Perhaps if more people read that we wouldn't be getting a request to delete posts every other day from people who think they are so special the rules don't apply to them. Then they complain that the rules are "hard to find". Horsefeathers.

[serialmonogamist]

My point is not that people don't read it. My point is that people complain that it's hard to find, and say that is why they don't read it.

If you've posted a thread in General Discussions, that tells me you know how to find the "General Discussions" forum. Don't tell me that people think their thread is the first and only thread in General Discussions. There are other threads there, and at the top, there are "sticky" threads (ones that are ALWAYS at the top). We have put redundant links to these all over the place. It's not so that people HAVE to read all of them before they can ask a question. However, you SHOULD read "every single solitary rule" because there might be one in there that APPLIES to you - such as the one that says you have 12 hours to edit or delete a post? Perhaps if more people read that we wouldn't be getting a request to delete posts every other day from people who think they are so special the rules don't apply to them. Then they complain that the rules are "hard to find". Horsefeathers.
I'm starting to appreciate you for your directness.

[Imapolygirlmaybe]

First off just because people dont read it does not mean you should make them feel like total morons. This is a great way to lose new members, so if your happy with only the people here now then so be it.

Secondly I DID look for an answer and what I found was conflicting and so I wanted to clarify which is why I asked. God forbid I ask about a rule that was conflicted IN YOUR FAQ'S. How dare I do something so ignorant, I definitely need to be made to feel like an idiot. Thanks for that.

Here is what I found regarding editing deleting posts when I went to the FAQ'S and searched it

Can I edit or delete my posts?

If you have registered and are logged in, you may be able to edit and delete your posts (although the administrator may have turned off this option). Your ability to edit your posts may be time-limited, depending on how the administrator has set up the forum.

To edit or delete your posts, click the Edit button by the particular post. If your post was the first in the thread, then deleting it may remove the entire thread.

Once you've made your modifications, a note may appear to inform other users that you have edited your post.

If the edit time and date appear as a link you can click on this to see the differences between the original and edited versions, or between edits if there have been multiple edits.

Can others edit my posts?

Administrators and moderators may also edit your messages. If they do, there may not be a note telling other users that the post was modified.

If the rule is that YOU CAN'T edit your posts after 12 hours than this verbage needs to be changed to say JUST THAT. This verbage leaves it open that maybe/maybe not.




My point is not that people don't read it. My point is that people complain that it's hard to find, and say that is why they don't read it.

If you've posted a thread in General Discussions, that tells me you know how to find the "General Discussions" forum. Don't tell me that people think their thread is the first and only thread in General Discussions. There are other threads there, and at the top, there are "sticky" threads (ones that are ALWAYS at the top). We have put redundant links to these all over the place. It's not so that people HAVE to read all of them before they can ask a question. However, you SHOULD read "every single solitary rule" because there might be one in there that APPLIES to you - such as the one that says you have 12 hours to edit or delete a post? Perhaps if more people read that we wouldn't be getting a request to delete posts every other day from people who think they are so special the rules don't apply to them. Then they complain that the rules are "hard to find". Horsefeathers.

[NeonKaos]

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. This is the VBulletin FAQ. It comes standard with the forum software. It is not the same as the polyamory.com forum rules. I had no idea there was this conflicting information in there. I will report this to Autumnal Tone who is the one who edits the rules, and to Imaginary Illusion who has access to admin utilities.

Sorry i made you feel like a total moron. Is there anything i can say that will make you feel like a total genius, as a way of making it up to you?:cool:

First off just because people dont read it does not mean you should make them feel like total morons. This is a great way to lose new members, so if your happy with only the people here now then so be it.

Secondly I DID look for an answer and what I found was conflicting and so I wanted to clarify which is why I asked. God forbid I ask about a rule that was conflicted IN YOUR FAQ'S. How dare I do something so ignorant, I definitely need to be made to feel like an idiot. Thanks for that.

Here is what I found regarding editing deleting posts when I went to the FAQ'S and searched it

Can I edit or delete my posts?

If you have registered and are logged in, you may be able to edit and delete your posts (although the administrator may have turned off this option). Your ability to edit your posts may be time-limited, depending on how the administrator has set up the forum.

To edit or delete your posts, click the Edit button by the particular post. If your post was the first in the thread, then deleting it may remove the entire thread.

Once you've made your modifications, a note may appear to inform other users that you have edited your post.

If the edit time and date appear as a link you can click on this to see the differences between the original and edited versions, or between edits if there have been multiple edits.

Can others edit my posts?

Administrators and moderators may also edit your messages. If they do, there may not be a note telling other users that the post was modified.

If the rule is that YOU CAN'T edit your posts after 12 hours than this verbage needs to be changed to say JUST THAT. This verbage leaves it open that maybe/maybe not.

[Magdlyn]

Secondly I DID look for an answer and what I found was conflicting and so I wanted to clarify which is why I asked.

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1787


It's under User Guidelines, hon. The first bit says you have a limited time to edit your posts. Then the third post on that thread, Neon has posted in huge letters, "12 hours."

You're more than welcome here, as far as I am concerned. Sorry for the confusion.

[NeonKaos]

Thanks Mags. I rescind my apology.if someone decides to feel like a "total idiot", that's fine by me.

[Magdlyn]

Neon, you're such a brat. :p

[AutumnalTone]

If the rule is that YOU CAN'T edit your posts after 12 hours than this verbage needs to be changed to say JUST THAT. This verbage leaves it open that maybe/maybe not.

Seems to me that ".. Your ability to edit your posts may be time-limited, depending on how the administrator has set up the forum. ..." indicates that there may be a time limit on editing and one should check with the specific board rules to find out. This verbiage leaves nothing open to question, because it directs you to check for site-specific information...and when you check that, the 12-hour time limit is made clear.

[NeonKaos]

I wish people would just own the fact that they didn't bother to read the rules because they were eager to start posting. I'd respect that as opposed to "Wah! I can't FIND it! You need to make things easier to find! You make me feel stupid!"

[ImaginaryIllusion]

Secondly I DID look for an answer and what I found was conflicting and so I wanted to clarify which is why I asked. God forbid I ask about a rule that was conflicted IN YOUR FAQ'S. How dare I do something so ignorant, I definitely need to be made to feel like an idiot. Thanks for that.

NK & AT have addressed the software general FAQ's. And as indicated they have also brought it to my attention as well.

Your ordeal does show that the general information in the FAQ's should be made more specific to this board, and the frustration of the mods indicates that while we have taken great pains to ensure that information is easy to find, we are obviously missing a critical path for a significant set of users including yourself.

I will look into adjusting the standard FAQ's to contain or point to more specific information to try and close that loop. One of the reasons I hadn't bothered was the pending upgrade to a newer version of vBulletin, but since there is no firm timetable on that, we'll adjust for the interim.

As this line of discussion really has little to do with the current thread, expect the related posts to be relocated to a more appropriate location.

[Imapolygirlmaybe]

gOOD Grief what is this HIGH SCHOOL? It's like a pack of "mean girls".

I agree it did indicate THERE MAY BE A TIME LIMIT and when I didn't see a time limit indicated IN THE FAQ'S ABOUT DELETING YOUR POSTS then I posted the question.

what a pack of unwelcoming people (with the exception of the people that have not attacked me over silly things like saying "the polyamorous lifestyle" or asking a question that YOUR FAQ's left unclear. Do you treat people in your every day life like this?


Seems to me that ".. Your ability to edit your posts may be time-limited, depending on how the administrator has set up the forum. ..." indicates that there may be a time limit on editing and one should check with the specific board rules to find out. This verbiage leaves nothing open to question, because it directs you to check for site-specific information...and when you check that, the 12-hour time limit is made clear.

[nycindie]

Oy vey!

[NeonKaos]

I agree it did indicate THERE MAY BE A TIME LIMIT and when I didn't see a time limit indicated IN THE FAQ'S ABOUT DELETING YOUR POSTS then I posted the question.



My issue is not with you asking that particular question. I do recall quizzing you about why you'd post something if you're planning to delete it. However, asking that question was the right thing to do and I was hoping (and still do hope) that other people will see it and if they are wondering the same, they will get their answer. But as we have seen, many people "can't find" or don't read that section of the forum and there isn't any way to make it stand out more. Maybe we could increase the font size?

Anyway, Imapolygirlmaybe, there are a BUNCH of other people BESIDES YOU (and you all know who you are) who have private-messaged the moderators over the duration whining about how they didn't read the rules or "couldn't find" them or "didn't know" and now they regret what they posted and could the moderators delete all my posts so my parents/OSO/kids/employer/soon-to-be-ex's attorney won't see it kthxbai.

So, this is not about YOU. You are actually one of the smart ones in this scenario because you ASKED BEFORE you did something foolish or impulsive. But by all means, keep calling me a "mean girl" if it suits you to do so.

[Magdlyn]

gOOD Grief what is this HIGH SCHOOL? It's like a pack of "mean girls".



Wow, how can you say that after Imaginary Illusion and I took the time to quietly and respectfully explain the unfortunate unclarity of the standard FAQs, and where to find the specific user guidelines?

Admittedly, Neon's frustration over many people's requests to have posts deleted leaked into her posts, but this attitude we are all against you does not bode well for your participation here. Nor for being poly itself, if I may extrapolate.

I think some big girl panties are sitting in a drawer unused here...

[Imapolygirlmaybe]

Wow, how can you say that after Imaginary Illusion and I took the time to quietly and respectfully explain the unfortunate unclarity of the standard FAQs, and where to find the specific user guidelines?

Admittedly, Neon's frustration over many people's requests to have posts deleted leaked into her posts, but this attitude we are all against you does not bode well for your participation here. Nor for being poly itself, if I may extrapolate.

I think some big girl panties are sitting in a drawer unused here...

If Neon is a moderator it is her job (or should be maybe you guys don't have standards like forums I am accostumed to) to not take it out on new members. What does that say about the board as a whole? I posted a VERY OBVIOUS discrepancy in the FAQ'S here after NEON chastised me for asking about it. If you ask me SHE has some big girl panties that are unused...as do you for cheering her on.

In Neon's own words:

I take this Personally because i have done a lot to try to organize the information on here so that it is easy to find, and i know redpepper has done the same when it comes to tagging threads. I tend to receive it somewhat disrespectfully when someone comes on and asks "how do i deal with jealousy" or "does anyone have any coming-out stories" etc. because that tells me they haven't done any browsing arou d the forum as these two topics are both tagged and in Golden Nuggets. Golden Nuggets is right in the main directory on the main page of the forum and it says right underneath it "Posts worthwhile to read". How someone "can't find it" makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place.

Saying things like "makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place" makes a user WHO DID ask a question feel negatively.

And then saying things like
Perhaps if more people read that we wouldn't be getting a request to delete posts every other day from people who think they are so special the rules don't apply to them. Then they complain that the rules are "hard to find". Horsefeathers.

I was the one that posted about deleting posts. IT WAS ME. I didnt post it because I thought I was special BUT BECAUSE YOUR FAQ'S WERE UNCLEAR. Excuse me for not scouring the entire site after reading YOUR FAQ'S that were unclear.

And another example of Neon's sarcasm:
Sorry i made you feel like a total moron. Is there anything i can say that will make you feel like a total genius, as a way of making it up to you?

Then I further enjoyed the banter between you and she:
Thanks Mags. I rescind my apology.if someone decides to feel like a "total idiot", that's fine by me.

and your reply:
Neon, you're such a brat. :p
It's like you are cheering her on? You should get some pom poms and put your hair in pigtails.

Then this rude statement:

I wish people would just own the fact that they didn't bother to read the rules because they were eager to start posting. I'd respect that as opposed to "Wah! I can't FIND it! You need to make things easier to find! You make me feel stupid!"

I READ THE RULES, THEY WERE UNCLEAR...WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND...IT WAS EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED by ImaginaryIllusion but yet people are still trying to make it out like I had no reason to be confused and I should have just kept searching the site for the answer.

I was chastised by Nycindie for calling polyamory a lifestyle. I think it's HILARIOUS though that she removed that post.

imaginaryillusion actually posted THIS on that thread:
This wasn't really the thread to reopen the lifestyle debate with a new arrival anyways.

I think the actual question about the edit window has been answered, so this thread should be just about wrapped.

So obviously Imaginaryillusion has some sense and knows it's probably a bad idea to be sparring over insignificant things with NEWBIES. Thanks to her for being kind to me in all her posts even if I was not "extremely intelligent" like some of the members here like to say they are.

Thanks to those who were sincere and kind to me. I appreciate that.

As for you "extropolating"....go ahead. Knock yourself out, I find it humorous that you would judge whether I was right for poly or not based on the fact that I stand up for myself when someone is out and out rude for no reason OVER SOMETHING SO SILLY AS SOME RULES ON AN INTERNET FORUM. Do none of you realize that in the grande scheme of life THAT IS INSIGNIFICANT AND WE SHOULD ALL BE KIND TO EACH OTHER?

It all boils down to this "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I try to live by this but sometimes some people make it very difficult.

[nycindie]

I think this is all just a case of misunderstanding the tone of the written word. My pointing out other threads to you regarding something you wrote was not chastising. NK saying that people don't look for the rules and then ask for special treatment was not singling you out. You're overreacting. Especially since it was all handled and done with, but you keep resurrecting it to complain about how mean we are.

[ImaginaryIllusion]

And yet this thread just keeps on trucking....

Yes, mods should set the standard of behavior, and users are people.
Mods are also people with the same human qualities, better or worse as anyone else, and users also should set the standard.

The edit question has been answered, and the dead end in the FAQ's has been pointed out and should be addressed. (Imapolygirlmaybe if you take a look at the FAQ area's now, would it have led you to the information you were missing?)

Words have been exchanged, tempers triggered and feeling hurt. There doesn't need to be kissing and making up (as much fun as that should be...especially with enough Lube), but we should be able to at least move on.

I'll leave this open for the moment, but if it continues to degenerate to further he said she said, I'll lock it down and people can find another thread to argue in.

[NeonKaos]

Hey, Ima.

See post #20 in this thread (above).

Read it.

Then put yourself on ice.

The End.

[NeonKaos]

PS - Imaginary Illusion is a man, FYI.

[Imapolygirlmaybe]

My apologies to imaginaryillusion for thinking you were female. I am so new to the board I don't know who is a she or he yet.

I wish you all well.

[NeonKaos]

It's ok. Someone thought i was a guy the other day. It's not uncommon.

[nycindie]

My apologies to imaginaryillusion for thinking you were female. I am so new to the board I don't know who is a she or he yet.

If you click on a person's username and visit the link to their public profile, most of them indicate sex/gender. If not, there is a thread where people have posted their orientation: A request: state your gender and sexual preference (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3514)

[trueRiver]

I agree with imapolygirlmaybe.

it is confusing.

what is going on is that there are two sets of instructions:

one set came with the software that runs this forum, this describes all the things that the software can do, but most of these are things that the mods can choose to do, choose to disable, or can choose to set specific limits. This is what imapolygirlmaybe has quoted from.

secondly, in the FAQ forum is the explanation of what settings have actually been chosen by the admins and moderators since the software was installed.

The reason it is confusing is that the user does not realise that one set of instructions is for the illuminati and the other for beginners. That is not down to the mods and admins, it is the way a lot of software is written, but that does not help the end user.

I hope it will help the admins and mods to understand that complaints like the one we have just seen are not usually a comment on their own efforts or their own skills.

Hacking the text that imapolygirlmaybe quoted is usually a harder job than changing the FAQ, due to the way this kind of software is put together. That may be why it has not been done.

one suggestion I would make is to put into the FAQ a note that the notes in the FAQ are more specific thanthe ones quoted, and where the details differ to go with the FAQ.

I too hope you stay, imapolygirlmaybe

[AutumnalTone]

one suggestion I would make is to put into the FAQ a note that the notes in the FAQ are more specific thanthe ones quoted, and where the details differ to go with the FAQ.


The generic FAQs provided with VBulletin refer readers to check for site-specific material, which indicates that the the material in those FAQs don't provide specific info. That info points out the site-specific guidelines provide the final word on how the site is set up.

Then there's the fact that there is a board devoted to "User Guidelines & Forum Features" which appears at the top of the site board listings. The presence of a board with such a title serves as an indication that the site rules can be found therein, so if one has a question about such things, one can look there.

The system, as it is currently structured, is set up to point anybody interested to the information necessary. One has to avoid following all of the written directions to not find the relevant info.

To review:
The generic FAQs direct readers to check site-specific guidelines.
The board where the site-specific guidelines can be found is prominent in the site layout.
The site-specific guidelines are clearly marked as such.

I believe it safe to say that your suggestion is already in place--as witnessed by the generic FAQs pointing out that a user should check for site-specific settings.